Dark Galaxy High School
by Japs
Summary: After two weeks of the author's rehab, it returns!
1. A new Start

The day started like any other day. The birds were singing, the bees were buzzing, and the loud purring of a large chainsaw being hacked through tree- stumps was not uncommon.  
  
Japs woke up. 'What a miserable day.' he thought.  
  
This was pretty much how Japs summed up every day, for nothing ever went to plan for him It was now half a year after he had tried to play The Weakest Link with his friends and tried to become a director. Ever since then, nothing went right.  
  
After forcing himself from his bed with a loud thump, he stood up and wandered downstairs. He felt his brain was going to waste, for he could create many things, like Robotic Spiders that could change the way the people on Earth lived. But he wasn't on Earth, he was on Dark Galaxy, and he could not care less.  
  
Kanaka had followed Japs once more from his room. Today was special for him, and many of his friends. Today was the first day of Dark Galaxy High School.  
  
After packing his stuff into two suitcases, saying goodbye to his parents, and finally meeting up with Link, Japs was off to Dark Galaxy High.  
  
'You look worried, my friend.' Said Link, as they sat in the Hover Bus Stop.  
  
'It's my first day at a new school.' Replied Japs, looking at the ground. 'I don't know anything about it, and I won't be seeing my parents for almost a year.'  
  
'And why is that a problem?'  
  
'Oh, it isn't. I just really don't want to see Yoshi again.'  
  
Just then a group of other people with suitcases and backpacks sat with them. Japs saw amid the confusion of luggage there were two brunette girls and a small boy. Japs recognised the boy first.  
  
'Hey Ness!' Said Japs.  
  
'Hey! Cousin Gento!' Said the Psychic boy, springing up with delight. Japs' eyes drifted to the girls.  
  
'Look who it is!' Said one.  
  
'Japs Gento Kanto Kahn.' Said the other.  
  
Japs groaned.  
  
'Looks like all of us are starting the same year.' Said the first.  
  
'I'm in my third!' Said Link proudly, pointing out that he was seventeen.  
  
'You should be back at kindergarten.' Hissed Japs. 'Hullo Nekoni, Hullo Samus, please refrain from hurting me.'  
  
'We'll save it for later today.' Said Samus, laughing. 'I trust you know of the Girly Girly rules?'  
  
'Couldn't care less.' Muttered Japs. 'You're outnumbered here, remember.'  
  
'By what?' Asked Nekoni. 'Dumb, Dumber and Psychic-boy-wonder?' Both girls burst into hideous laugher. Japs mimicked sarcastically and looked down the road. The bus was on it's way. Maybe a nice, gentle bus ride would calm his nerves.  
  
'Oh, this sucks.' Said Japs, looking at the state of the bus.  
  
'Siddown, Shaddup, Fasten-your-seatbelt.' Croaked the elderly, warty bus driver. Japs took a seat next to Ness.  
  
'All bus drivers are called Earl or Fred.' Japs murmured, looking at the cheerful day outside the cold, grubby windows of their transport.  
  
'HEY! DRIVER! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?' Shouted Ness.  
  
'Earl.' Came a shallow reply. Ness gave a look to Japs and then turned to his Game Boy.  
  
Round at the back of the bus, two twins were talking about the people who were also on the bus in a rather rude way, as Japs found out when he turned round and heard 'Look at that idiot with the glasses'. Also, there was Kirby and Link at the very back seat, Samus and some other girl, Nekoni on her own, Yoshi (who Japs pretended he did not see), a few other guys Japs had never seen in his life, and one very strange looking kid who was sitting on the seats beside him, staring at him.  
  
'Yes...' Japs asked the boy cautiously, 'Can I... help you?'  
  
'Uhm... no.' Said the boy, turning away. Japs noticed his hair seemed to remind him of someone. He thought for a while, rubbing his chin and humming, and then he put his finger on it.  
  
'Goku?' Asked Japs, leaning over Ness.  
  
'What? No, I'm his son, Gohan.'  
  
'Hey, has your father told you about a guy called Japs?' Asked Japs hopefully.  
  
'Hmm... nope.'  
  
Japs turned back to his seat and folded his arms.  
  
'Don't tell his son about the guy who fed you...' He grumbled, fading off into the kinda sounds that Muttley makes.  
  
Soon the school was visible, and from the left of the bus the new pupils gasped and talked in awe. Japs was on the right of the bus, though, so he and Ness struggled to see past Gohan's hair. But when the bus finally stopped, and Japs had complained once more that the service sucked to Earl, he saw the giant building before them and blinked sharply.  
  
'Well, here it is!' Said Nekoni, leaning on Japs' shoulder (who almost fell over). 'Dark Galaxy High School.'  
  
'FIRST YEARS FOLLOW THE SOUND OF MY VOICE!' Shrieked a female voice. Japs and Nekoni were not expecting it, especially from right next to them, so they yelled and held their ears.  
  
Japs often described what he saw next as 'Like my aunt with a hundred years added and a hundred pounds gained'. S he was an old hag of a woman with the patients of a cheetah and the temper of a hungry lion to a zebra carcass. She wore a pink dress and had a pair of glasses on a chain that looped around her neck, like a typical librarian.  
  
'First years?' She growled from her thin yellow teeth.  
  
'Yes.' Said Nekoni, giving Japs, who had turned away and choked at the sight of the woman, a sharp nudge with her elbow.  
  
'Get to the hall before I give you a late form.' She hissed, going back to her high pitched cries for the newcomers.  
  
'I see you've met Mrs. Tardid.' Said a friendly voice. Japs turned round to see the smiling, dumb-washed face of Link.  
  
'I'd rather had not...' Sighed Japs. 'That is a horrible creature, if ever I saw one.'  
  
'We call her Mrs. Retarded behind her back.' Said Link. 'If there ever was a witch on this planet, there she waddles.'  
  
'Why are you still here?' Asked Nekoni. 'I thought you were third year.'  
  
'I am, but we get dorms with the First years for this year.'  
  
Dark Galaxy High School was rather different to most schools. You started First Year at the age of 15, Second at the age of 16, Third at the age of 17, then you got the optional choice of staying for Fourth and Higher Fourth year at 18. To reduce the numbers in dorms, a Third year always got a room with two First years as a kind of buddy. Fourth years got their own singular dorms.  
  
Japs soon split up from Nekoni with Link. Nekoni found Samus and some other girl, and Ness was soon running up to Link and Japs asking to stay with them in case they got dorms together.  
  
As they entered the great halls of DGH, they noticed on their left were the Second years, sitting at dining tables with horrid grins, and on their right were the Third years, doing the same. Japs would give them a shifty look from the corner of his eye, shaking his fist at a few he remembered from his younger days when he was picked on for wearing glasses. Ahead was a large table set up on a stage with the Fourth years and the teachers. Japs noticed the unmistakable Jabba-the-hut-like face of Mrs. Tardid. He could only really remember two more faces, of which he gawped at in disbelief.  
  
Two spaces left from Retarded Tardid sat Donkey Kong. He grunted and scratched himself, ocasionaly swinging his arms as he attempted to wave at people he knew. And at the left side of him sat someone doing almost the same thing, Son Goku. Japs remembered of that day where he had caused the burning down of his studio's and cringed.  
  
The First and Third years were seated near the front of the hall, and often Japs would wonder why. It then became clear to him when he finally noticed a rather large and un-noticeable white board with the list of dormitories on it. They were going to be sorted. 


	2. Things go wrong

Japs looked like one who has just seen something that would disturb and haunt him for life. But he could not help the way he looked, he was born that way. But now his face looked of one of fear, and he let out a short scream to show this. He did not notice that in unity the entire of the First Year students had done the same. If anything, this must had been expected, as no-one gave it a second thought apart from some sniggers from the ones who had counted it down perfectly on their watches.  
  
Mrs. Tardid walked to the microphone. She glared down and around at the new students, and Japs felt like shouting something very inappropriate at the wicked woman.  
  
'What more can a stupid librarian do?' He murmured.  
  
'That's no librarian.' Hissed a second year from behind Japs. 'That's the headmistress.'  
  
All of Japs' fears now seemed to hit him at once.  
  
'Well then. Looks like I have to welcome some newbies to this school.' Mrs. Tardid mocked. 'One Hundred more nuances. Well then, to business, then you can all get out of my sight. You will soon receive a Dorm Key, a key with the number of your dorm. This key will be the only one you get, so don't loose it. The odd numbered dorms are male, the even numbered dorms for females, and no-one of one sex shall be in the other's dorm'  
  
There were a few 'Aww's'. Japs gave a queer look to the people who made it.  
  
'We have learned from your parents who your friends are... so we try and keep you out of rooms with them. HA!'  
  
Japs did not feel really pressured by this... how many true friends did he have?  
  
One by one the pupils were called up to the stage to receive their keys. Eventually Japs was called for.  
  
'Japs Ga... Gehn... Gah...' Mrs. Tardid struggled. Japs growled to himself. He could hear Yoshi laughing his head off somewhere to his left.  
  
'Japs Getankohan!' Said Mrs. Tardid. Japs could now hear Nekoni, Yoshi, Samus and Kirby in hideous laughter around him. He stood up, strided to the stage and as he climbed up the steps, he stumbled. The hall filled with laughter, and Japs went bright red. He stood up again and walked to the now cackling Ogre, Mrs. Tardid.  
  
'My name is Japs Gento Kanto Kahn.' He said sternly.  
  
'I was close enough.' Hissed Tardid. 'Now sittdown!'  
  
Japs snatched his key and stormed off. As he walked back to his seat, another First Year jammed his leg out from beneath the table in-between Japs' legs, causing him to trip again. His key was flung out of his hand and skidded across the stone floor under the second year table. Japs foolishly then scrambled on all fours under this table, and for a long time Japs remained under, with only cries of pain from the ever-kicking feet of the second years to show his position.  
  
When Japs eventually got out; bleeding, bruised and limping, he found that everyone was leaving. He whimpered as he realised he had been forgotten and looked at the green key ring on his key.  
  
'Dorm thirteen, floor two.' He said to himself. 'OK, I can find that easily enough. I'll be there in five minuets!'  
  
After what could have been over an hour, Japs had eventually found where floor two was. Coincidently, it was the second floor above the first year common room. When the students had witnessed someone running into the common room, panting and limping, tripping over his own feet with enough bruises that would scare a professional boxer, they became quite suspicious. It was when an idiotic voice shouted 'Hey! It's Japs!' the first years burst into laughter. Japs had now been missing for around one hour since he tripped on (and off) stage. He wandered upstairs, muttering that he had just about lost the will to live, when he saw, in crooked bronze, the number 13 on a battered door. Japs tried the key, and with a clink, opened it. The greeting he got was a friendly one.  
  
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?'  
  
'Oh no, look who it is.'  
  
'Hi Japs!'  
  
  
  
Inside the room, Kirby was on a nice little hammock in the corner of the room. Link was sitting the top of a bunk bed and none other than Yoshi was on the bottom.  
  
'Get out of here, Mellon breath!' Shouted Japs. 'It's three to a room, and this dorm aint big enough for the both of us.'  
  
Link got out his Ocarina and played 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly', not mentioning who was the good (Kirby), the bad (Yoshi), or the ugly (Japs). Yoshi stood up and walked opposite Japs, who put his hands to his side. From outside, the School clock chimed three times. Kirby had been telling himself how corny the whole thing was, but he had seen a look from Japs' bloody face which made him wonder what he had planned and how much it was going to cost.  
  
'DRAW!' Cried Link, who wasn't really paying attention anymore, but had seen a chest of draws that he had noticed before in their new room. But the two rivals did draw, though. Yoshi pulled out a Wild West-like Magnum (which, when fired, produced a small red flag quoting 'bang' in black letters), and Japs pulled from his pocket something that everyone recognised at once.  
  
'KANAKA?' The Dorm inhabitants cried at once. And, in reply, Kanaka jumped at Yoshi and latched on his huge nose.  
  
'AAIII!' Cried Yoshi.  
  
'Ha!' Laughed Japs. 'I guess I won!'  
  
'If you had let him finish,' Shouted Kirby, jumping down to help remove the mechanical arachnid from the dinosaurs snoz, 'he was going to make it a joke.'  
  
'A joke?' asked Japs, confused.  
  
'Yes.' Growled Yoshi. 'I was GOING to say: "What are you doing here? Oh, I remember, we're now roomies!" and apologise for my actions in the past.'  
  
'And the Clint Eastwood thing?' Asked Japs.  
  
'Hey, I played along. It isn't every day you get the opportunity to do that.' Said Yoshi, who had finally flung Kanaka off his nose into a waste paper basket.  
  
'But...' Whined Japs. 'It's three to a room.'  
  
'Where were you?' Asked Link, who had just finished looking in the draws he found, revealing a rotten plumb from last year. 'Mrs. Tardid told us in the assembly that Dorm Thirteen had to have four occupants because of the odd number of pupils this year.'  
  
'I was under the Second Year table, getting the living daylights kicked out of me.'  
  
And so the four talked of events that were going to happen today. Japs found his bag was on his new, nicely made bed with new covers and tidy appearance, and he soon made himself at home by throwing around his stuff and messing up his bed so it looked like a couple had just spent a night of passion in it. Japs looked at his 'masterpiece' afterwards with folded arms and nodded to himself. It turned out that the first years had the rest of the week to get to know the place, with their lesson timetables presented to them in four days.  
  
Yoshi was impatient later that afternoon, and something was on his mind. After shooing Kanaka from resting on his head, he called for Link and Japs from the common room. The two had been looking for Ness, and had found him watching wrestling on TV. Kirby had been reading in the dorm, and had not stopped, which resulted with a few sharp pokes from Japs, followed by idiotic questions about the book.  
  
'What's wrong?' Asked Link.  
  
'I just had an Idea!' Said Yoshi in glee.  
  
'Did you hurt yourself?' Commented Kirby, who did not look up from his book.  
  
'Lets see who lives opposite us!' Continued Yoshi. 'After all.' He said, raising and lowering his giant eyelids rapidly, 'They are gurls!'  
  
'So?' Asked Japs. Kirby, Link and Yoshi stared at him.  
  
'Japs...' Said Yoshi, sitting down. 'Girls can be... well... fun!'  
  
'What?' Asked Japs.  
  
'You know... re-la-tion-ships!'  
  
'O...K...' Said Japs uncomfortably.  
  
'What's wrong with you?' Asked Kirby.  
  
'I- uh... nothing.'  
  
'You have had a girlfriend before, haven't you Japs?' Asked Yoshi.  
  
Japs put an end to the conversation by screaming and running down to the Common room.  
  
'You think he's upset?' Asked Link.  
  
'Who knows...' Muttered Yoshi, scratching his head. 'Who knows...' 


	3. The Iron(ing), The Bitch, And The Wardro...

The students of DGH were almost back in normal conversation when Japs ran downstairs screaming his head off. They were going to ask why he was running, screaming, and disturbing the peace, when they saw a big guy running after him, and so they put two and two together. But it wasn't the time for maths, so they all pretended the last thirty seconds didn't happen.  
  
It was right after they stopped looking at Japs HE saw the big guy running after him, and he was sure he wasn't behind him when he left his dorm in a panic.  
  
'Is that death?' Japs thought.  
  
For some reason, Japs didn't notice he was about to run into a large pillar until he was about two seconds away from it. Lucky enough, he stopped. But the fat guy behind him didn't. To Japs, the expression 'Caught between a rock and a hard place' came to mind.  
  
'Ah got ya noo ya wee beastie!' Said the big guy, who was wearing red, green and orange tartan shirt, black trousers and a lot of 'B.O.' deodorant, which turned out to be a natural smell.  
  
'What did I do?' Asked Japs, as the big Scottish bully picked him up.  
  
'Yoo be treedin on mah turf!'  
  
'WHAT?'  
  
'Dinni play dumb with me!'  
  
'Dinner?'  
  
'Yoo admit it!'  
  
'Admit what?'  
  
Japs was flung onto a table. The students, who were watching and some taking photos, cried and stood back.  
  
'Ah have mah eye on yoo, kid!' He shouted, spit flying on Japs' face. To be honest, Japs thought he had taken too many showers that day, already tolling three, so he did the only thing he could.  
  
'AAHH! MAH BOLLIES!'  
  
The Scottish terror had his hands firmly grasping his crotch in pain from a well-aimed kick from Japs, who took the opportunity to run for it back into his room. He could hear allot of talk from behind him, but he just thought it'd be just bad stuff.  
  
Fifty seconds after Japs had run out of his dorm, screaming, Yoshi, Link and Kirby found that he ran back in, screaming. The teen tripped over Link's sword-sheath and skidded to the red-shoed feet of Yoshi, trembling in fear. He then stood up and went to his little room.  
  
It was so, when Japs woke up by a shaft of light hitting his face, he felt cold and alone. He was in his new bed, but not under his blue and purple covers, but on top, at a strange angle, and his back was stiff and sore. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, and then wandered out of the cramped room. He walked out into the Dorm kitchen, and he saw no one was there. He then walked back to the dorm rooms, knocking violently on each door, but no one replied. In the end he sat down at the table and kicked the air from the tall bar stool. He then caught sight of a pile of washing to his left, with a chibi note on top, written in small handwriting.  
  
Dear Japs,  
  
We decided to leave you to sleep while we went out with (the beautiful) Nekoni and her friends. Hope you don't mind, as you never did care much about anything. If you could, iron these, because we don't have time. We're too busy having friends and social life's and stuff which - basically - YOU DON'T.  
  
Also, we may not be back for a while, so cook us some food for when we come back.  
  
DORM INSPECTION AT TWELVE  
  
-Nekoni-  
  
Japs growled to himself, swearing revenge. And so, after he tired so hard at ironing every garment (for about twenty seconds), he decided to make a half-assed job of it and just hang the clothes up in their wardrobe. Realising he did not actually know where Nekoni's dorm was, he decided this too could be to his advantage. Planning where to shove all the clothes, he wandered into Links room. He tipped the basket into the wardrobe, thinking how much work it would be to sort all of them out. And quickly he ran from his room to find his friends, and the clock outside struck twelve - the time for the Dorm inspection, which Japs had forgotten about.  
  
It was then, while Mrs. Tardid had come into the room and looked around. It all looked fine, and seemed OK, but she noticed one of the bedroom doors were open, belonging to the third-year student, Link. And so she walked in, hissing and tutting to herself, and she noticed a sock hanging from the bottom of his wardrobes door. She pulled it out, being the tidiness-freak she was, and as she did so, the doors burst open with a rumble that shook the whole school. She pulled from her face a pink shirt, and her face went red with rage. The gender rules were the most important rules in her school, and she knew that Link wouldn't disobey them. Her mind twisted to who was likely to do such a thing and lived in Dorm Thirteen, and her memory was sent back to the giving of the keys... to the boy who had been so rude to her... the boy who made sure she learnt his name.  
  
'JAPS GENTO KANTO KAHN!'  
  
The shrill cry echoed the whole of the school grounds, and all students were struck still and quiet. Japs had only just stepped outside when Mrs. Tardid's voice filled the air like a poisonous gas.  
  
'I am screwed.' Said Japs, as he noticed everyone run from the entrance of the school. The doors were flung open, and Mrs. Tardid stood there with a now purple face, shaking with rage, Nekoni's top in her left hand. 'Why did she have to give me her washing?' thought Japs, as Tardid's piercing glare fell upon him. Anyone could predict what Japs would do next, and he decided it was the best idea.  
  
Japs ran for his life, as fast as his legs could carry him. He ran past the Teacher's Dorm block, grand and neat, and he realised he shouldn't have.  
  
'GET THE BOY!' Screamed Mrs. Tardid. 'GET THE BOY!'  
  
At once, teachers ran out of their common room. This included Donkey Kong, three Goomba's and a pulsating green blob. Japs did not stop, and he could hear the commotion behind him.  
  
The chase ended up like this: Japs was running like the clappers in front, with an army of teachers behind him, and behind them were the students of DGH, who wanted to see the whole thing. Mrs. Tardid, out-of-breath and will, slowed down outside the staff dorm, and she saw one teacher had not joined in the chase.  
  
'SON GOKU!' She cried. As you would expect, the Saiyan was far too busy eating to join the chase.  
  
'Wuh?' He replied, his mouth full of chocolate cake.  
  
'There is a student running around the grounds, and he deserves to be punished!'  
  
'What can I to do?'  
  
'Well...' Said Mrs. Tardid, through gritted teeth, 'Being the only one of us WHO CAN FLY AT HIGH SPEED...'  
  
'Oh...' Said Goku, and he walked out slowly.  
  
Japs was just about ready to fall to the ground out of exhaustion when he felt the ground being lifted away from him. He looked up to see Goku's face smiling at him. Japs sighed in defeat.  
  
'The end is here.' He said. 'You may as well drop me, I have nothing to live for.'  
  
'Hey! It's you! I thought I remembered you.' Said Goku.  
  
'Uh-huh... seen as you have been in my old studios on two occasions, I see no reason why you shouldn't.' Muttered Japs. Goku landed on top of a block of Science rooms and let Japs go.  
  
'Don't worry.' Said Goku, who Japs never did really like. He claimed to be able to eat more than Japs- and he could- but Japs never did like loosing. 'I'll make up some story to get you out of trouble. What have you done?'  
  
'I don't really know...'  
  
'Hey.' Said Goku, trying to cheer the boy up, 'Are you and Nekoni still an item?'  
  
'An... Item?'  
  
'Yeah, are you two still going out?'  
  
Japs felt the urge to jump off the building they were on increase.  
  
'She-... she isn't my girlfriend. I-...'  
  
Japs looked up at Goku. The urge to kick him up the backside and jump off the building decreased at the sight of what he mistook as an understand face, which was actually the look of confusion.  
  
'I never had the guts to- you know- ask...' He whispered. 'And all the people in Dorm 13 think I'm popular with girls...'  
  
'Why do they think that?' Asked Goku, sitting down.  
  
'Because they're all so brilliant with the opposite sex.' Growled Japs. 'I've always been Japs the Geek, Japs the Nerd, Oh-No-It's-Japs.'  
  
'Well...' Said Goku, standing up and placing his hand on the teen's shoulder. 'I think I should be the one to help you. I am, after all, the Sport's teacher for this school.'  
  
'Ok...' Said Japs reluctantly. Goku smiled and took flight.  
  
'Look's like I'm going to make someone happy.' Sighed Goku, smiling. He was so pleased with himself; he barely noticed Japs' cries to him, as he was still on the building with no way down. 'Yep... I think that'll be my good deed for the day.' 


	4. The Gurltrix

Again Japs had been stirred from his sleep by light hitting his eyes, but of a different sort. The day before he had been gently tugged from sleep by a soft ray of natural light shining on his face, but today it was the heavy glow of the lamp above him like acid had been poured into the back of his eyes.  
He woke with a yell, sitting up. He had hardly any recollection of the day before, and he decided to try and stop loosing his memory so much or he would have trouble when the exams came.  
Japs' senses shifted from sight to sound as a loud chirping was heard. It was a phone, next to his head on a set of draws that doubled as a bedside table.  
'I have a phone?' Asked Japs, and as he leaned over to answer it, he found a piece of paper was stuck to his hand. It read:  
  
Follow the dumb monkey  
  
Japs threw the paper off him. When he looked to find where it landed he noticed it had disappeared. The phone rung on, and through the wall he heard Kirby shout 'SHUT THAT THING UP!'. Japs reached over to the phone, and as he touched it there was a blinding flash of white light. He was no longer in his room.  
  
He could only see white. He was unsure where the ground was, or any sense of direction. He was standing up, only wearing shorts and a shirt. He then heard a voice.  
'Are you ready?'  
'No.' Japs replied bluntly. 'No I am not! Give me two more hours sleep!'  
'You can sleep all you want, Japs GKK, after we train you.'  
'For what? I didn't ask for this.'  
'Yes you did.'  
  
Suddenly, Japs was on the roof of the science block again.  
'I think I should be the one to help you. I am, after all, the Sport's teacher for this school.'  
'Ok...'  
Then the room went back to it's empty self.  
  
'Goku?' Asked Japs. 'WHERE THE HELL AM I?'  
'I am not Goku.'  
'Yes... you are.' Replied Japs, a small vein made itself visible on his forehead.  
'Oh…yeah… it's me.'  
Suddenly Goku appeared in front of him.  
'So, ready to train?' The Saiyan asked.  
'No!' Hissed Japs.  
'Ppfftt. You have no choice!'  
And with that, Goku had left him. Suddenly the room changed to a strange looking house.  
'Where am I now?'  
  
'You are in the… Gurltrix.'  
  
Japs looked around in confusion. He could see no way out.  
'Do you think you know everything there is to know on girls?' Came a new voice. Japs turned round to see a tall male with pail blue complexion, black suit and shades.  
'No.' Said Japs. 'Apparently that's why I am he-'  
'Girls are weapons, my friend, and you have to avoid them at all cost.'  
'What?'  
'-But you need them in life.'  
'Uh-'  
'So are you ready?'  
Before Japs had a second to answer, the guy had vanished. Some fast music played, and Goku was back. He was floating upside down in front of Japs. The blue boy's voice echoed back.  
'Lesson one: Know Thy Enemy. A girl is a person, and she has needs and wants, as do you. One example of this is the sudden need for romantic gestures. You must deliver the flowers to the image of the female in your heart. But a man must go over many obstacles, like emotional problems and choices. ...Bbuutt we can't represent these, SO GOKU WILL FIRE SOME BLASTS AT YOU!'  
Japs whimpered.  
  
-GO-   
  
A blast was instantly fired at the boy. He could feel it scorch against his back as he flung himself backwards over it. Everything was now in slow motion, apart from the music.  
A second blast- aimed at his face. He jumped, seeming to stop and spin around as he did so, and flung himself from the blast, over the monkey, and landed slowly and painfully with several crunches from area's Japs did not know about.  
'Flowers...' He said, picking up a bunch of roses. He then saw before him a hologram of Nekoni. He stumbled forward and slowly handed over the flowers. The hologram looked at them, then looked at Japs...  
'HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE LATE FOR OUR DATE AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN BRING ME IS A BUNCH OF WILTED ROSES?'  
This was followed by a slap that felt like a bed of needles implanted themselves into the teen's cheek. His right eye watered almost instantly as the partially transparent hand made contact, and the hologram 'humphed' and walked off.  
'Your first lesson is learnt: Don't be late for a date.' Said the pail blue instructor, putting his hand upon Japs, who was still in deep, traumatizing shock. 'I am Hard. I have a son in your school called Hardy.'  
'I awm iwn a white woom...' Said Japs, looking around himself dizzily.  
  
Japs then witnessed the white flash again, and he saw the lamp above him.  
'I SAID SHUT THAT THING OFF!'  
Japs looked to where the phone was. Kanaka was sitting there, making a 'Kii!' sound every two seconds - which was Kanaka's alarm mode. He tapped Kanaka on the head, resulting in the robot sinking its fangs into Japs' hand. Japs, who was allready in shorts and shirt, as he was before, slipped on a pair of pants and went into the kitchen. Link and Yoshi were allready sitting there, eating breakfast. Today was their last day of freedom access to the school, and they were planning how to spend it. The ammount of students who had actualy taken the time to learn their way around the dorms were very low indeed.  
'Have you guys heard of the Gurltrix?' Asked Japs, pulling up a stool. Yoshi delivered a queer look to the boy.  
'Are you feeling OK? I mean, after yesterdays cleaning detention with Mrs. Tardid, you were quiet.' Said Link.  
'And we gotta meet Nekoni and her friends down at the forest before lunch.' Said Yoshi, taking a bite of toast.  
Japs, who had not been listening much, caught what Yoshi said.  
'The date...' He said to himself. Link and Yoshi looked at each other in confusion, and once more, Japs ran out of the dorm without explanation or eating.  
  
Once more had the first year students wandered down from their dorms in mid slumber, picking seats to claim, as Japs ran through and out the Common Room. They wondered actually how long Japs had spent in the room, and then wondered what they were going to get for breakfast. 


	5. To The Forest!

Kanaka was hunting. His infer-red vision sensed something warm was near him. For all he knew, and that was very little, it was food. His eight legs scurried up an object his memory served him wrong to identify as a chair, and he saw the source of this heat.  
'Kanaka!' Shouted Kirby. 'Get off the toilet! Off!'  
Kirby dealt Kanaka a sharp tap on the head and it fell off the rim of the toilet to the hard floor, making a hasty exit away from Kirby.  
'Eww... Someone didn't flush...'  
  
Japs was getting impatient. Yoshi pulled him back into his dorm. 'I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go!' He repeated, jumping up and down in frustration.  
'We will be going soon.' Muttered Yoshi. 'What's with you anyway? First you are talking about "The Gurltrix", now you're hyperactive.'  
'I wanna go.'  
'I've allready told you,' Said Link, who was busy putting his boots on. 'You had your chance, and Kirby's in there.'  
'I wanna go meet the gang!'  
'Like "The Gang" would want a social member like you!' Hissed Yoshi. Kanaka, who was beside his master Japs, 'Kii'ed in agreement, thus earning him a sharp kick in the abdomen.  
'Ness will be there.' Said Link. 'And Nekoni and her dorm-mates, and a few other students.'  
Kirby wandered from the small corridor. 'Ready?' He asked.  
'And I-'  
'And I-'  
'And I-' *  
'Kii!'  
'Great.' Said Kirby. 'Off we go!'  
  
  
* See William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream", Titania's fairies: Moss, Moth, Peasblossom and Cobweb.  
  
  
As they walked out of their dorm, happy and joyful as anyone would guess, a shadow lurked in a corner un-noticed. 'Hey! Yoo!'  
Japs turned round in fear. Kirby and Link instantly walked in front of him to protect him. The tales of the common room do no good as secrets.  
'McDan!' Said Yoshi, who had made no attempt to show he was brave, for he was not, and had pulled Japs in front of him rather than behind. True enough were his words, and McDan stepped forward, followed by two figures. One was bigger than him one smaller.  
'Well, well, well.' Said Link. 'Dandruff McDan, Tank and Shorty. How long have you guys been in that year now?'  
'We dinnie care wot we be doon in this school!' Shouted McDan. The larger one, Tank, stepped forward.  
'Tank smash. Tank bash.'  
The smaller one, Shorty, rubbed his limp palms together. 'Yeah, yeah, smash! Bash! Yeah, yeah!'  
'Why err yoo sticking up fer that wee barren?' Asked McDan, stepping forward to the company. Link whispered to Yoshi and Kirby, who heard perfectly, and he decided Japs must have heard to, which he hadn't.  
'Get ready...' Link said quietly. Japs looked at him on confusion.  
'NOW!'  
  
Japs was on his own, his friends advancing to the stairway. He remained still for a while, and then noticed he was actualy alone, and decided the best way to approach this was calmly and reasonably.  
Japs was never one to do the right thing, and he was soon legging it down the corridor as fast as he could.  
Down in the Common Room, things were pretty normal. A boy, who looked very much like Hard, Japs' personal 'Gurltrix' trainer, was about to open the door to go outside when a Hylian, a DreamLandian, a Dinosaur and a robotic spider burst out it before he could. Hardy, which was his name, was flung into a wall where the shape of his body was dug into the bricks. He fell down and rubbed his head with his pail blue hand.  
If that wasn't enough, he soon found his face was as much use as a Welcome Rug as Japs Gento Kanto Kahn's foot was soon moulded into it. And following that, he found his back was no better than a carpet as Tank and McDan pounded across it, flattening the boy's ribcage slightly. And then Shorty came, jumping on his head a few times before running after his friends in his sugar-rush way.  
'TO THE FOREST!' Link called. 'TO THE FOREST!'  
Unfortunately for them, the Forest was out-of-bounds for pupils. And even more unfortunately, they had just belted past the Teacher's Dorm. Mrs. Tardid's face screwed up in her coffee as she heard Link's loud voice as he ran past, and she turned round in her armchair to see who called it.  
Even more unfortunately was the fact Japs, who was lagging behind, jogged past as she looked out. Her blood boiled, and she slammed her fist on the table.  
'THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!' She screeched.  
  
'I AM SO SURPRISED THAT A GUY WITH A SWORD RAN FROM THREE IDIOTS!' Shouted Kirby as they ran towards the forest. Link glared at him.  
'I'm surprised for someone so unhealthy and unhygienic as Japs at the ammount of running he has done.' Said Yoshi. Everyone, even Kanaka, screeched to a stop.  
'Where...' Began Kirby. He then noticed something was flying towards them. Japs had tripped, and he was rolling down a solid hill past the entrance to the school's mini-town. He landed on his back in front of them all.  
'You... suck...' Croaked Japs.  
'Come on! They're coming!' Said Link, as he noticed Tank running down the hill towards them. 'INTO THE FOREST, INTO THE FOREST!'  
Kirby mocked Link in a high voice making sounds that resembled his words. Link then found it within his right to pull out a super sized paper fan and whap him over the head with, which he did. Now two were on the floor, and Tank was approaching rapidly. Link hoisted Japs' legs, Yoshi did Kirby's, and the two were dragged into the forest.  
  
Yoshi ran forward. He could smell the fresh smell of home, and with that smell he could practically taste the cloying relish of fresh, celestial...  
'FRUIT!' Yoshi bawled while pointing at some shrubs he had come upon. Link crouched, plucked a ripe berry and tasted it.  
'Mmm! Not bad!'  
The aroma of the fruit refreshed Japs and Kirby, and they both looked hungrily at it. 'Well...' Said Kirby, 'If life gives you lemons... or in this case wild berries...'  
He and Japs dived for the fruit, but Link's hand swayed forth and hindered them on the spot. He hissed for quiet and placed a hand over his pointy ears. Everyone now stopped, even the restless ejects of Kanaka's oily spittle. There were voices on the other side of the bush.  
Japs' first thoughts were of Nekoni, and so he slowly raised his head from his seated body over the barrier. He saw a Goomba, a great pulsating green blob and a strange human who looked like a fox. These were three of the teachers from Dark Galaxy High. Mr. Goomba taught Dark Materials, Globule Verdant taught Mass Movement Over Space And Time (MMOSAT: teleportation), and Fox McCloud taught Universal travel. They were stood outside a wooden shack that had a window. Above this read 'Ammo and Game'.  
'The scum!' Whispered Link, who watched with Japs. 'This forest had very good reason to be out-of-bounds for pupils!'  
Japs looked again, and noticed each of them was holding a gun-like weapon. He recognised this instantly, and in a gasp he said. 'FireBall!'  
FireBall was a sport much like paintball, only using projectiles of flaming rubber. It was not a death sport, for no one was seriously injured in their fireproof overalls, but it was for over eighteens only.  
Link smiled wickedly. Something came into his mind. 'Why don't we play a game?' He asked. 'The teacher's will not recognise us in the suits.' 


	6. FireBall

'Yeah... teachers won't recognise us...'  
'Well, for one... I could be a Jigglypuff...'  
'KII!'  
The three, Yoshi, Kirby and Kanaka, had not fit well into suits. Yoshi's obvious dino-shape and Kirby's pure roundness spoiled the plan. Japs looked at Kanaka.  
'I suppose you can ride in my suit.'  
Kanaka made his spittle sound and scurried to Japs.  
'But on the shoulders, mind!' The robot didn't listen and nestled inside the suit on Japs' head. The teen sighed and picked up his weapon. 'I suppose that's it then... we're ready...'  
Yoshi fumbled around his behind, earning queer looks for Japs and Link, whose eyes were the only thing that could be seen from their suits. Japs still had his glasses on. Yoshi was actualy pulling his tail up, and eventually he got it so he looked almost human, though he had a huge lump in his neck where his nose flattened. Kirby just muttered and slipped out of his suit.  
'I'll go without, then.' He snarled sarcastically. Everyone agreed to this and split up to find their teachers.   
  
'Uh... guys...'  
  
After a hard walk through the forest Japs found himself backed against a tree as he noticed Fox was nearby. He was singing to himself, and would fire occasionally and randomly. In one incident, Japs found that the tree he stood behind was almost set alight as a flaming rubber bullet swished past his face.   
'Stay quiet...' he thought. ' Stay quiet... No sudden movements... Nice and-'  
Japs suddenly ran from the tree screaming and yelling like a Native American. Thus, it turned out, he was imitating, as he believed to get close to his enemy would prove him brave. He was soon sent back due to several of Foxes hot bullets just missing him.  
Fox hummed in thought. 'You coming out then, or should I make you?' He growled.  
'Make me.' Japs whimpered back, soon slapping himself in his mind for what he just said. With a loud smash, the tree he stood at was no longer there, but snapped to the left. Fox was taking aim at Japs when time suddenly stood still.  
  
'Japs... use the force...' came a mental voice.  
'Wrong number.' Japs thought. 'You need Luke Skywa-'  
'Shh! You don't want this story to be sued by Lucas, do you? It's me, Hard! Now is a time to use The Gurltrix!'  
'But it isn't towards a girl.'  
'Yeah, but the stunts resemble a lesser-quality movie I know. Try it!'  
Time started again.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
On the outside of the forest an injured Hardy stumbled forward to a group of pupils. This was made up of Nekoni, her friend Kumba, Samus and a short boy with spiked hair ironically called Spike.  
'Hey Hardy!' Spike said to the pail blue Changeling. 'Glad you could make it!'  
'Looks like those idiots of Dorm 13 didn't...' Growled Nekoni.  
'I... saw... them...' Said Hardy as he fell to a heap on the ground. His complexion turned from blue, normal, to green, resting.  
'Where are they?' Asked Samus.  
'Chased... by Tank... Shorty... McDan... into forest, for all I know...'  
'Lets go!' Shouted Spike, and the group ran into the forest. The changeling slithered after them.  
  
'I really hate this game.' Kirby thought. 'What is worse than playing naked to naked flames?'  
This was soon answered. Being burned naked to naked flames. Globule Verdant, who also had to play without a suit, was on Kirby in a second, and the creature from Dreamland let out an almighty yell, running into the forest.  
  
Link was kicking ass! He had sent Mr. Goomba flying into the shrubs with no return, and he was enjoying it. Taking a rest, he sat and played with some dirt, when heard from behind the bushes rustle. Swiftly the Hylian stood up, aiming his weapon to the movement, and he fired when whatever-it-was came out.  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!'  
'Oh. Hi Ness.'  
'IT BURNS! IT BURNS!'  
The psychic cooled himself off with a healing shield and sat down, slightly singed.  
'What are you doing here?' Link asked, wiping some ash from the boy's eyebrows.  
'Here to find Japs... message from head teacher... pretty bad...'  
Link read the note:  
  
JAPS GENTO KANTO KAHN: DETENTION - CLEANING THE FOREST AT MIDNIGHT - REASON: HEADING INTO THE FOREST  
  
Link shuffled uncomfortably and darted his head to the left.  
'They'll be coming for him.' He said. 'We have to find Japs!'  
  
'We have to find Japs!' Hissed Nekoni. The gang was running deeper into the forest, unaware of the FireBall games. 'When I get my hands on him I'll-'  
  
'SMASH HIS WEE BRAINS IN!' Shouted McDan, who too was advancing into the forest. 'I'LL KILL THAT WEE SCRAP HEAD! I'LL TEAR HIS BBBBRAINS OOT AND USE 'EM AS A TENNIS BALL!'  
  
---  
'Japs... use the force...' came a mental voice.  
'Wrong number.' Japs thought. 'You need Luke Skywa-'  
'Shh! You don't want this story to be sued by Lucas, do you? It's me, hard! Now is a time to use The Gurltrix!'  
'But it isn't towards a girl.'  
'Yeah, but the stunts resemble a lesser-quality movie I know. Try it!'  
Time started again, only in slow motion. Japs turned to his enemy, his eyes now flaming as the reflection of an approaching FireBall shone in his goggles. He pulled out his weapon and fired. The two balls met in the nick of time, mid-air, and were sent hurtling towards who had fired it. Japs leaned backwards as the hot ball flung over him, and his fingers twitched at the trigger of the launcher. Three were sent to Fox. One hit his head, and it was thrown back in the force. Then his groin was hit, and in reaction the Pilot leaned forward. The final one skimmed under his chin to his stomach, and the tyrant was flung into the forest. Time regained its normal status, and Japs smiled in glory. It was unknown to him that Kanaka then jumped off his head, taking the mask with him, and scurried in the direction of his home, his nice new accessory dragging behind.  
'THERE HE IS!'  
'There he is!'  
'There! I FOUND HIM!'  
Japs found himself surrounded. To his left, McDan and his cronies. To the right, Nekoni and her band. Behind him Link and Ness wandered out. In front of him, Fox McCloud, unmasked and unhappy, pulled himself out of the bushes in rage. Japs suddenly felt his time had come, when something odd happened.  
A flaming pink ball came running through, making a hideous din, and ran towards everyone but Japs. Ness, again, caught fire, as did Nekoni, Kumba, Hardy (who had really had enough for one day), Spike (who tried to save his 'beautiful hair' and made it public he was doing so), Samus, McDan, Shorty and Tank. All of them created a horrid noise of screams, yells, and rather disgusting things directed to Japs. Link pulled out a fire extinguisher (think anime) and carelessly fired in the middle of the flames. Japs stood, alone in the chaos, and he felt a furry hand grab his collar and drag him.  
'S-sir!' Japs pleaded to Fox. 'I meant for none of this to happen! I was just looking for my girlfriend- uh... friend who happens to be a girl... and...'  
'Quiet.' Shouted Fox. 'I know exactly what to do with you.' 


	7. A Spin-Off Poetry Episode...

It was so that Japs, the lonely school boy  
Was dragged from the forest making quite a noise  
And he was taken to the Teachers lounge  
But when he got there, none could guess what he found...  
  
  
  
  
'I'm sorry, forgive me!' Cried the teenager  
'Let me go now, I've been here for ages!'  
But Fox did him glare with fire in his eyes  
'Not now, my friend, I have a surprise.'  
And Japs waited for longer, and longer still  
At the end of it all he was feeling quite ill  
But at last a small Koopa, who had a green shell  
Came in to release Japs from that nice-smelling hell  
  
'Mrs. Tardid excepts.' Said turtle to Fox  
'But the equipment be stored under key and locks!'  
'That is fine.' said Fox. 'Now let me be  
For I have someone who will be playing for me.'  
'Playing for me?' Japs did repeat  
Kicking the air with his dangling feet  
'Whatever do you mean by that, I wonder  
I have a feeling it will be worse than thunder.'  
  
'Fear not, my lad.' Said the friendly Lylat  
Kicking out the Koopa, and then he sat  
'For in the forest you showed great brawl  
In the fun little game of FireBall  
We used that area to practice, you see  
For this year will be the start of the league  
And we must make a team of fighters  
To go against some FireBall Snipers.'  
  
'And you chose me to be on this team  
To enter the whole sport of FireBall League?  
But sir, I really must protest here  
For I have suddenly grown a great fear  
That for some reason, be it or no  
My techniques must be of my own  
And sadly they aren't, if this be the fix  
For I was trained in the art of Gurltrix.'  
  
'So was I, you fool, Hard and Goku too  
Many people are, for Gurltrix are rules  
To earn you a spouse, to earn you a mate  
And you have had but one lesson, "Do not be late"  
So in that turn, to me you have shown  
Indeed that your methods are your own.  
The team is sorted now. Some you'll know, I think  
The likes of Ness the Psychic, Kirby and Link'  
  
  
  
  
Japs was exited, and truly was happy  
But then he realised he was in for a slappy  
For many people he knew, and he was no liar  
Had for reasons unknown caught on fire  
And so he did run into the room of first years  
But they knew what happened, and they knew his fears  
So one idiot from the shadow of slys  
Shouted out loudly "HE'S RIGHT THERE, GUYS!"  
  
And out came some students, including McDan  
And all of them looked as if they were well done  
Their eyebrows were singed, their clothes were black  
There faces were sooty and their forgiveness lacked  
Many in the room were ready for what they saw  
For another famous chase scene sent Japs into his dorm  
Nekoni cried: 'Japs! You need not hide, you see  
That we are the students from Dorm Fourteen!'  
  
This was true, for you see, in strange luck and all  
Nekoni and Kumba were right over the hall  
They lived with a Third Year of the Goron sort  
And this gave Japs a horrible thought  
'If they live opposite us, then surely it's true  
The girl close to my heart is close to me too!'  
But whether good or bad Japs did not decided  
As Link and Kirby entered, and so he ran to hide.  
  
Later that day, though still in a mess  
Japs appeared from his room, not looking his best  
He saw Yoshi there, Kirby too  
Link, he discovered, had gone to his room  
Japs expected a scene when he was noticed  
Lots of shouting, worse than a blitz  
But they looked not angry, in face they looked glum  
'Brace yourself, Japs. Our timetables have come.'  
  
Japs picked up a letter, an envelope green  
'To J. G. K. Kahn, Dormitory Thirteen.'  
He opened it slowly, and took out the contents;  
A letter, a card, and his weekly allowance  
Of which was a mere 25 Gold piece  
Hardly enough to pay for what he normally eats  
But the card before him had deadly information  
Of the time of his lesson and where it was stationed  
  
  
On Monday he had Physics with Prof. Mewtwo  
Followed by Lylatian Speech with Falco  
Goku's sports lessons, after lunch they lay  
And then there was biology with friendly DK  
  
On Tuesday was Maths with a Goomba teaching  
Teleportation with a green blob pulsating  
Magic and Manna with some guy called Sheik  
And then more Maths, the day looked quite bleak  
  
On Wednesday Japs had to put up with Chemistry  
With Mewtwo again, and then more biology  
And then Prof. Oak taught Pokéology  
And then came a fun lesson, 'Weaponology'  
  
Thursdays were the same as Tuesdays, thank goodness  
But a lesson of Pokéology sent the day double maths-less  
And Fridays, it seemed, the same as Monday  
But biology missing for it was a half-day  
  
'Not too bad.' Said Japs. 'It could have been worse.'  
'Like beat-up lessons with McDan?' Kirby yelled on  
'Link must be happy.' Said Yoshi. 'Which is not seldom  
But we know for a fact that Sheik is in fact Zelda.'  
'Ah, love in the air!' Said Kirby, all mushy  
'When your heart beats fast, and your eyes go like puppies.'  
  
Japs gave a choke, sticking his finger in his mouth  
'Well what,' Growled Kirby, 'are you going on about?  
My friend, it's true, you talk while your sleep  
And I know the someone who makes your heart leap!'  
Japs dragged Kirby away. 'Please! Tell nobody!'  
'I might.' Said Kirby. 'But what's in it for me?' 


	8. Open Wounds: The creation of Super Smash...

'SLASH! SLASH!'  
'I AM SLASHING! THIS IS HARDER THAN YOU THINK!'  
Japs and Link were in the hall. It was getting dark, but they found it was unused so Link decided to let Japs train. The Master Sword was heavy in Japs' hands, and it was cold. Japs liked to admire it, but now he had to use it. It was like he had a new, shiny toy and didn't want to dirty it. He had always told Link his dreams of being a hero like him.  
'Okay, now stab and block!'  
Japs stabbed the air and then swung his arm round to block a fake attack. He had tried to use the Hylian Shield, but had suffered greatly in the fact he had fallen over into the shield and left a huge gash in the wooden floor. While Japs was trying to make a sword-swing attack a door creaked slowly open.  
'Well, well, Hylian. Didn't think you'd make it this year.'  
Link did not move. He knew who it was. Japs stopped and put down the master sword. A new person had entered the hall.  
'Roy.' Said Link, looking at the floor in anger. 'So where is the other?'  
'Marth? Never you mind, misfit.'  
'Never I mind? My friend...' Link jumped from his seat. 'I do mind. You two took away the one thing I trained for, and I will get it back. My sword, Japs.'  
Japs didn't say anything, but picked up the sword and handed it over.  
'I challenge you, Roy. Here and now. FIGHT ME.'  
Marth was at the other side of the room. He sneered as Link looked as if he was trapped. Japs stood back. He had no idea what was going on.  
'Fight you? You're a misfit! Why would we fight you?'  
'I WILL FIGHT ONLY ROY!' Cried Link.  
'Get REAL! A two-on-one match! Why not?' Shouted Roy  
'What about him?' Asked Marth, looking at Japs. 'I just saw you training him.'  
'He is not one to fight you.' Said Link. Roy approached Japs, and upon this pushed him to the ground.  
'You're right, for once.' He laughed. 'He's far too weak to fight.'  
'I will fight Roy.' Said Link again. 'Or you, Marth. But not the both of you together.'  
  
Japs slid backwards on his behind, powered by his feet. He could not let this happen, not to his friend. The two cloaked boys drew their swords in unity. 'Fight us.' They said, closing in on Link. 'Fight us now. You have no choice.'  
He could not let them hurt one of the only friends he had.  
He spotted the Sport Machine and Apparatus Storage Hut, the S.M.A.S.H. Link had told him something about it.  
'There are many, many things in there. Baseball bats, Pokéballs, Fire Flowers, the lot!'  
Japs clenched his fists. He needed power, and speed to get from the hall, over to the SMASH and back. He knew what he had to do.  
'GURLTRIX!'  
Time almost stopped, and Japs ran to the hut. He did not open the doors, just ran through them. His dedication made him do it, and he could not stop. No longer caring, he swooped some items into his arms and darted back.  
'ROY!'  
Japs threw the items down onto the ground in the centre of the Hall. All was normal, and Roy turned round. Japs was on the other side to Marth and Roy. The two boys laughed.  
'I declare...' Began Japs. 'A... SMASH TOURNAMENT!'  
'A smash tournament?' Queried Marth. 'Are you out of your mind?'  
'He always was.' Link sighed.  
'I am surprised you haven't heard of it.' Said Japs slyly. He was making it up as he was going along, but he was doing it quite well. 'A Smash Tournament is where you fight someone, and you can use these weapons, and the object is to get the enemy out of the ring.'  
Marth and Roy did not want to seem without knowing of something to do with a melee.  
'Oh, yeah...' Muttered Roy.  
'How could I forget?' Grumbled Marth.  
'Link.' Said Japs. 'Here!'  
Link quickly strided over and grabbed Japs' collar.  
'What are you doing?' He whispered.  
'Play along.'  
'What? This is MAD! We are going to fight them with weapons--'  
'Well?' Shouted Marth. 'Are you ready?'  
'Y-Yeah!' Yelled Link, turning to Japs with gritted teeth. 'If we don't make it out of this alive, you are DEAD!'  
'Clever.' Mocked Japs.  
  
Now the two teams glared at each other. They positioned themselves to make a run for the items. Marth and Roy had their fists clenched on their swords, as did Link. Japs had his eye set on the pile of weapons before them. 'Three.' He said. 'Two... One... GO!'  
As he said go, they all darted at each other. Link had crouched to avoid an attack from Roy and spun round to block Marth. Japs was the first to get a weapon. It was a thin cylinder of metal.  
Roy and Link were totally engaged in battle. Swords were clashing and skimming. Marth turned to Japs, who was primitively scratching his head and examining the object he picked up, a plainly open target. Marth ran to him, his sword flung over his head as he jumped for a downward slice on the boy. Japs did nothing, his arms flung over his head in defence and his eyes closed. He expected not to see daylight again. But he eventually opened them again. Link and Roy were still brawling beside him, and Marth was no longer before him. In fact he was propped up against the wall behind Link and Roy, dazed with a lump on his head. Japs looked once more at the object he had, and found a red beam was flowing out of it.  
'A Beam Sword!'  
Japs poised himself for attack. He saw Link was only just defending himself. Roy was charging, and so Japs ran too. The two clashed, Japs attempting to ram Roy from his warpath. Roy had countered with a blow from his sword, and Japs was sent flying across the room. Roy was walking up to Japs to finish him, when Link dived onto him. The rules where to get someone out of the ring, and Marth was out. Now Link and Roy were merely on the edge of the court lines on in the hall. The two fought brutally, obviously with an old wound opened.  
Japs picked up a new item from the pile. He had no idea what it was, but it looked to him like a red a white baseball. 'Simple enough.' He thought, picking up a baseball bat from the pile. He flung the ball into the air and whacked it with all his force and might. It landed softly and pathetically to the ground in front of Link and Roy. Link found himself fall out of the ring because of it, and Roy's sides split into laughter with tears. He fell to the ground, banging his fist onto the floor and the laughter pierced Japs' soul. But just as he was about to give up...  
'Huh?'  
Roy stopped laughing. The 'Baseball' was shaking on it's own accord. A sweat drop ran down his forehead. Something bad was about to happen.  
With a huge flash the ball split at the joint of the two colors. A huge shadow grew from it, twice the size of Roy. It was fearful, tremendous, awful and spine chilling. It's huge paws stretched in a yawn and the beady eyes fell to Roy.  
'Snorlax...'  
'What the hell is that?' Cried Marth. Link's jaw dropped.  
'That... is a Pokemon...' He said.  
'The yellow thing with red cheeks and spiked tail?' Marth asked, looking to Link in confusion. The huge Snorlax then toppled over onto Roy.  
'Obviously not.' Said Link. 'Roy can no longer battle, can he Japs?'  
Japs made his way to the Snorlax, which had a snot bubble growing and shrinking from its face. 'Don't think so.'  
'WE WON!' Shouted Link, jumping to the air. Japs' confused face grew to a weak smile, then to laughter.  
'I am so keeping this thing!' Said Japs, picking up the Pokéball. With a red beam of light, the huge monster vanished back into the orb. All that was left was a Roy-shaped hole in the ground.  
'YOU WAIT, HYLIAN! WE'LL GET YOU YET!' Shouted Marth as he dragged the flattened body of his friend out of the hole and stormed out of the hall. Link looked at Japs.  
'What did you call this game again?' He asked.  
'I dunno... Super... Smash Tournament... something like that...'  
'Super Smash Tournament.' Link repeated. 'Well, my friend, looks like you made a new sport. Help me put back these items before we get caught.'  
'Do we have to put ALL of them back?' Japs asked, looking at his new ball.  
'Well... It'll cost you 100 Gold for the Pokeball and Pokemon...'  
'I can afford that!' Japs said. 'And I really, really like this dude! I'll pay Goku tomorrow!'  
And as the two walked out with their arms full of Super Smash Tournament weapons, Japs turned to Link with a huge smile on his face and asked 'Can I borrow 100 Gold?' 


	9. Open Wounds: Silent Question

Japs' eyes opened slowly. It was a new morning, but it was early. He looked at his clock, on which Kanaka was recharging. Almost six o' clock in the morning. He sat up and rubbed his eyes with the edge of his hand, then donned his glasses. He then let out a massive, echoing scream. The Snorlax had broke lose of it's Pokéball and now was sleeping in Japs' room. His hand searched for it's ball. Finding it, he called it back. This now reminded him of yesterday. And he thought of Link, his best friend. He had been angered so much that he wanted to fight Roy, and no doubt he would have fought to the death.  
He picked up his timetable. His first lecture was at 8:40 with Mewtwo. He had no idea what his class would be like, or what Mewtwo was like, and his fear grew of the day. His hand twitched. It wanted to feel the grasp of a sword hilt once more. 'I will fight anyone to do it.' He thought. 'I want to show Link I'm good for something...'  
Now Japs' memory turned back to another point in his life. Old wounds opened again...  
  
Kirby and Yoshi were allready sitting at the bar when Link wandered out of the bathroom.  
'You okay?' Yoshi asked, noticing Link frowning. 'You've barely spoke a word this morning. Do you want some Kaptain K-runch?'  
'No thanks.' Said Link, forcing a smile. 'Why wouldn't I be happy?'  
'Where did you and Japs get to last night?' Kirby asked. 'You weren't home 'till late.'  
'Japs wanted to do some training in the hall, so I let him.'  
'Wanting to build his muscles for Nekoni...' Kirby muttered. Then he remembered how Japs swore him to secrecy on the subject. He clasped his little paws over his mouth.  
'What was that?' Yoshi asked.  
'Uh... I said he would most likely want some spaghetti- I better go put a pan on for him.' Said Kirby, slipping on his chefs hat and jumping from his stool. Yoshi squinted and hummed. Japs and Kanaka then emerged from their room, Japs still in his underclothes.  
'You look like you haven't slept.' Said Link. 'You okay?'  
'No...' Japs sighed. 'First day of high school.'  
'Cheer up!' Link laughed. 'You're a legend!'  
'I am?' Asked Japs.  
'He IS?' Asked Yoshi.  
'Haven't you heard?' Kirby asked, placing a huge plate of spaghetti in front of a confused Japs. 'Me, Japs and Link are on DGH's first FireBall team.'  
Yoshi spat out his fruit juice. 'Why YOU, Kirby? You were set on fire and put many pupil's lives at risk!'  
'I have been chosen for my superior and outstanding coping skills without a suit. Apparently, I was the best naked player. I did better than Globule Verdant!'  
'Then, why Japs? He's worthless.'  
Japs felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart.  
'He is far from worthless if he beat you to the FireBall Attacker Squad, Yoshi.' Defended Link. Yoshi remained quiet after that. But Japs and Link would look at each other, dying to ask the same question. but they couldn't.  
  
'Quiet please. Sit down. I am your professor, Mewtwo. Now, I will answer any questions you have to a--'  
Japs and Kirby burst through the doors. They were late, and now everyone was looking at them. Both blushed heavily and rubbed the back of their heads. Mewtwo glared at them, fearful and bright.  
'Names.'  
'I am Kirby.'  
'...Both names.'  
Japs was far too busy looking at Mewtwo to answer.  
'What is it?' The clone asked.  
'You look weird.' Announced Japs. The theatre burst into laughter.  
'Yes, well, that could have something to do with the fact I am a POKÉMON!'  
'Wow, and you speak English?'  
'Please, Mr. Kirby and friend, take a seat before I make you.'  
Both hurried into seats. They did not look to see who they were sitting next to. Kirby found himself sitting with Ness. Japs, on the other hand, was sent bright red and sank down below his desk. He had clumsily chose a seat next to Nekoni, who did not looked pleased.  
'What's up with her?' Kirby mouthed from the row next to Japs.  
'I dunno.' Japs whispered back. 'PMT?'  
'She must have it every day with that attitude!' Kirby hissed back. Both burst into laughter. Mewtwo cleared his through.  
'If you do not mind, Mr. Kirby and Mr. Nuisance, I am trying to teach a very interesting lesson on the Time Space Continuum.'  
'Sir, can you translate what Pokémon say?' Japs shouted out.  
'Yes, I can, now if you mind--'  
'Here!'  
Japs "passed" his Pokéball down to his teacher. Mewtwo's eyes swelled as he saw the ball come towards him and instinctively whacked it away with his tail. The ball landed and opened, and Snorlax came out.  
'Nooo!'  
'Lax!'  
Snorlax decided that executing a Tackle attack at Mewtwo was appropriate, and found half way from landing that sleeping would be a good idea. So all that was left of Mewtwo was his thrashing tail from under the snoring beast.  
'Class... dismiss...'  
The whole class cheered and ran out. Japs decided he would let the two Pokémon become better acquainted and come back for his Snorlax later.  
'Snor, Snorlax, Snor.'  
'Oh, do shut up.' Said Mewtwo, Psychically lifting the great mass from his back. 'I believe your owner is a troublemaker. Either that, or...' 


	10. Open Wounds: First blood

Kirby drank his Orange Juice. He had a good five minuets before his next lesson, and decided a break was in order from Mewtwo's horribly long lecture. Japs was beside him, on the same bench, curled up and sleeping. Ness was also with them, but he was playing with his yo-yo behind them. The sun was bright and it was indeed a warm summer-like day.  
'This could not be any more perfect.' The pink ball sighed, throwing the empty carton into the bin. He had Lylatian next, which couldn't be that bad. He allready knew the basics. Just then, Link and some Third years past them. He saw the three relaxing and halted in his tracks.  
'How did you guys get out so early?' He asked.  
'Japs trashed the lesson by releasing the Snorlax on top of Mewtwo.' Kirby replied, looking at the snoozing lump beside him.  
'WHAT?' Link cried, dropping his textbooks. 'He did THAT to Mewtwo?'  
'Why, is there a problem?'  
'Mewtwo is full of anger, trapped inside of him. That's why when he gets angry, he gets angry!'  
'Nuh-huh. And why would we care?'  
Kirby's question was soon answered when Mewtwo himself appeared between him and Link. He glared his purple eyes at the ball, who jumped off his bench and backed away. Ness was now still, his yo-yo unrolled and laying on the floor. But he was still for another reason.  
'Your Psychic too?' He asked. Mewtwo looked at him. 'I can hear your thoughts. My name is Ness; I was in your "class". I never knew Pokémon could be Psychic!'  
'We can.' Said the creature, raising himself on his toes. 'Now if you don't mind... Mr. Kirby, and I trust THIS is Mr. Gento Kanto Kahn. You two were late to my lesson.'  
Link began to tiptoe away behind Mewtwo.  
'NOT so fast.' Boomed Mewtwo, and Link froze. 'I have seen you training Mr. Kahn...' He then dealt a sharp tap to Japs, who was still asleep. He woke up and fell off the bench in shock. '...And I intend to make the punishment my own. Kirby, Japs, Link, if you would please follow me.'  
And with that Mewtwo levitated slightly from the ground and floated towards the hall. Japs had no idea what was going on, and behind them, Ness followed. But he was not the only one...  
  
Mewtwo levitated higher in the hall. He then made the three float before him. He addressed Link first, asking 'Why are you training him?'  
'He wanted me to.' Link gasped, feeling the pressure of Mewtwo. 'I... I don't know his reasons.'  
'Hmm... You two, Kirby and Japs. You must be punished.'  
But then Mewtwo pointed his arm to a wall and clenched his fist. Through the doors, following his movement came Ness. He had been caught, but he was again not the only one. After Ness, and to everyone but Mewtwo's surprise, followed Nekoni and Kumba.  
'What?' Ness asked in confusion. 'You followed me?'  
'We followed Japs.' Said Nekoni. She looked up at him to see he was smiling at her. She growled a little. 'Only because we wanted to see him punished.'  
'We, we, we!' Cried Kumba, trying to reach the ground. 'I didn't have anything to DO with this!'  
'Get REAL! You were following Kirby!'  
'Was not!'  
'Was too!'  
'OH SHUT UP!' Shouted Mewtwo. I can see what needs to be done. Japs, that thing you made up yesterday, what was it?'  
'What? Oh... Super Smash Tournament?'  
'Yes... I was quite impressed with that. I think I shall meddle with the rules a bit.'  
'Meddle with the rules?' Link asked. 'Why, is there a game going on?'  
'Hmm... I think the items will drop during the match, and we'll have a first-come, first-served basis.'  
'Brilliant!' Said Japs, who was more than happy to talk about his own game. 'Can we make it so the winner gets a big shiny trophy with his name on?'  
'No, no. But you're thinking. I like that.'  
'Excuse me.' Asked Kirby, who was getting a bit tired of the nauseous feeling of being suspended in mid air. 'But what exactly is going on?'  
'I think there's a Tournament!' Said Japs happily. 'I can't wait! My game will be famous!'  
'I am surprised.' Mewtwo mocked. 'You can't wait to do your punishment?'  
'W-What?'  
'Hhmm... I think... Yes, yes... Weapons and items will appear randomly on the battlegrounds. Hhmm... Lets make it look more interesting...'  
Suddenly they were no longer in the hall. They were now on a floating chunk of ground in the night's sky. Japs, Kirby, Nekoni and Kumba found themselves on floating robotic platforms. Japs had dropped down on his platform and clung onto it for his life- he did not like heights.  
'Boys verses girls.' Mewtwo said, floating some distance from the island. 'Last person in the ring has won for their team.'  
'What's going on?' Kumba asked, turning to her friend.  
'I think we get to spar these two dufuses.'  
'Hey!' Kirby shouted. 'I dunno about him, but I am not a dufus!'  
'Yeah!' Japs shouted. 'He is very intelligent!'  
'SILENCE!' Boomed Mewtwo. 'Let the match begin!'  
  
The platforms dropped the teams on the floating island. With them dropped a Beamsword. Nekoni had grabbed it first, but Kirby sent his famous triple kick attack to her head, and she rolled from it. Japs and Kumba had then come into combat together, for Kumba had latched herself onto Japs' legs and started to gnaw at them. Japs fell down in pain, and on top of him landed a pink ball. Nekoni now had the Beamsword. It extended to its full length, and Nekoni smirked from behind it. 'GIRLY GIRLY!'  
'Aww man...' Japs croaked, standing up. 'I forgot all about the Girly Girly.'  
'You mean where the girls try to show how much boys would look good in girls... clothes... rags... stuff?' Kirby asked.  
'Yup.'  
'And Nekoni just called it?'  
'Yup.'  
'We're boned.'  
'Yup.'  
Nekoni and Kumba regrouped. Both girls backed up to attack, and both boys back up to defend. The girls charged, yelling and screaming.  
'GET HIM!' Shouted Kirby. 'I'M ALLREADY PINK!'  
They agreed, and both girls turned to run at Japs.  
'Oh boy.' Japs sighed. 'This is the end.'  
But then something triggered in the back of his mind. The Gurltrix! Nekoni and Kumba were almost upon him now, and so Japs jumped. He did not nearly cover enough distance, and in a desperate state attempted to jump again while in the air. Surprisingly this worked, and he covered twice his normal height. He landed behind the girls, and Kirby walked up to him.  
Nekoni and Kumba looked at each other and smiled. 'FU- SION- HA!' They both cried together, dancing exactly the same but mirrored. The two met, their fingers together, and there was a flash. There was no longer two figures, but one. Kirby and Japs' both looked upon this new, dramatic change of figure in disbelief, but of the wrong kind. Both then burst out into laughter.  
'What are YOU meant to be?' Kirby chortled.  
'I am Nichani.' She said, sternly. The voice was a mix of Nekoni's and Kumba's. Japs laughed louder, falling down to the ground.  
'Nichani! Sounds like some kind of tranquilliser!'  
Kirby laughed louder too, and putting on a high voice, he said: 'Oh! I am Nichani! Bababa! Look at me run at Kirby with my Beamsword poised in the ai-AAAHHH!'  
Kirby ran for it, Nichani following him while slashing brutally. 'Come over here and say that, dodge ball!'  
  
Meanwhile, Mewtwo, Ness and Link sat on a floating couch while watching the whole fight.  
'Pretty good, no?' The monster asked.  
'Great sound quality! And the image is brilliant!' Ness claimed, bouncing with excitement. 'Is this thing Surround Sound?'  
'Not just that,' Said Mewtwo, 'But it's multi-angle!' With this he toggled a leaver on the arm of the couch and it orbited the island in a complete circle.  
'Amazing!' Said Link, his mouth full. 'Could you pass me the Butter Popcorn please?'  
  
'Japs!' Kirby cried as the two ran from the hybrid female. 'I know a way we could beat this... thing!'  
'How?' The teen asked, securing his precious cap. Both stopped and faced their enemy.  
'This may feel a little weird...' Said Kirby. '...But it will be fine...'  
And Kirby sucked Japs into his mouth.  
  
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING!' Cried Japs, muffled from inside Kirby. Nichani was now the one who was laughing now.  
'Digesting his own teammate! I am sure to win!'  
With a yelp from Kirby, Japs was back, sitting on the floor with his glasses wonky on his face. 'Where did I just come from?'  
He looked at Kirby, who had now sported an exact pair of glasses and a "DG" cap much like Japs'.  
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' Japs cried.  
'I have mimicked your power. Now your special move, I can use.'  
'I have a special move?'  
'We all do. I have my hammer-'  
Japs remembered when the same hammer hit him.  
'Ness has PK Thunder-'  
Japs, again, remembered being hit by that.  
'And Yoshi can eat people and turn them into eggs.'  
'Ew!' Said Japs. He had never been subject to that one, yet. Nichani raised her Beamsword.  
'Come on.' She said, flexing her fingers to her palm from an outstretched arm. 'Bring it on.'  
'With pleasure.' Said Kirby, and the two jumped at their enemy. Japs threw a punch, but it was blocked, followed by a kick to the stomach. Kirby then swung his hammer, dealing a hit to the girl's arm. Kirby then stood still.  
'What is your special move, Japs Gento Kanto Kahn?'  
'WHAT? Keep fighting!'  
Japs ran to Nichani, but was sent back to where he started by a blow to the face.  
'I... I GOT IT!'  
Kirby then jumped up above Nichani and flung his arms out wide. From above, black clouds circled him.  
'GKK THUNDER!' He cried, and a huge thunder blast was sent to Nichani. She screamed, dropping the Beamsword, which Japs grabbed.  
'GKK Thunder?' Japs asked. 'I've never done that in my life.'  
'JAPS! FINISH HER!' Kirby cried, throwing off the cap and glasses. He later said they made him look like a geek.  
Japs walked up to Nichani, who was still lying on the ground. He was cautious in case she rolled up and attacked him, but she did not. He crouched down, looking at her face. She resembled Nekoni partly. Her voice half belonged to Nekoni, her eyes, her hair, everything about her.  
'I cannot defeat something so beautiful as Nekoni.' Said Japs, throwing the Beamsword off the island. 'Kirby, I can't do it!'  
'It's half Kumba!' Kirby shouted. 'I'm sure she's done something bad to you!'  
'No...' Said Japs. 'I love her. I cannot do it.'  
  
Japs was unaware of the floating couch.  
'Ooh! Drama!' Said Mewtwo, leaning forward.  
'I never knew that.' Sighed Link. 'Japs is my best friend, and he told Kirby over me...'  
  
Nichani opened her left eye. She did not stand up, she wanted to wait until someone drew close enough and then attack them. What she didn't know was that Japs was to her left.  
'I cannot defeat something so beautiful as Nekoni. Kirby, I can't do it!'  
'It's half Kumba! I'm sure she's done something bad to you!'  
'No. I love her. I cannot do it.'  
Nichani stood up, Japs looking round to her. He was still crouched, but as he tried to stand up, scared of how much Nichani had learnt, she dealt him a kick to the face. Japs was flung back, now he was lying down. Kirby yelled his name, throwing himself at the female. But he missed the tackle and stumbled to the edge. He was on tiptoes, trying so hard to stay on.  
But he did not stay.  
A new item dropped down. It was a paper ball. Japs stood up, slowly and weakly, to reach it. He stumbled, falling, and Nichani got there first. It bounced once towards Japs, then cracked and opened. Inside were a Hammer and a Maximum Tomato. Nichani quickly grabbed the Tomato, and it healed her. Japs struggled, but grabbed the Hammer...  
'AAII!'  
Japs found himself doing a kind of run, his legs' flapping like there was no tomorrow and the hammer swinging in front of him and behind.  
'I could win!' He thought. 'I ACTUALY HAVE A CHANCE TO--'  
The end of the hammer had fallen off. Japs was now left to swing a stick. His eyes shrunk in fear as Nichani picked up the fallen end.  
But as she threw it, she hesitated. She looked at Japs, this time seeing him as alone and beat, but still trying his hardest. But then she shook her head and threw the hammer end. Japs was sent plummeting off the island... 


	11. Open Wounds: Secrets bleed

Mewtwo clapped his three-fingered hands together. 'Well played!' He called. 'Well played indeed!'  
  
Japs opened his eyes. The floating island had gone, and he was in the gym again. He was lying on his back, but he did not want to get up. It felt like his legs wouldn't move. From his left he saw the unmistakable kangaroo- like feet of Mewtwo toe themselves beside him, and then he felt himself being lifted up by the clone's power. Instantly, once released, the boy's legs gave way and he fell to a heap on the ground, only this time on his stomach. He had hit his chin in doing so, and his mouth, and his lip burst. He could not move much, except his head, thus he lifted it so to rest it on the underside of his mouth. Link, Ness and Kirby were in front of him. Kirby looked better than he had in battle, and Ness looked like he was going to be sick after eating too much popcorn. Link, on the other hand, though opposite Japs, was not looking at him.  
  
'He's paralyzed!' Explained Mewtwo. 'That must have been a sharp blow to the head.'  
  
Japs tried to speak, but ended up wailing in pain.  
  
'Beaten by his own game.' Said Ness, shaking his head. Link looked at Japs for the first time since the battle ended, but his smile was no longer showing. Instead, he scrunched his face up in anger and growled at the sight of Japs, then turned and departed from the hall. Japs could still say nothing. Mewtwo returned, crouching down to him, and Japs shuddered. The boy now felt very cold, and he began to quake. Then he felt his pains numb and slowly fade, and his aches and bruises seemed to vanish. He could now stand up, and he did so, giving each limb a stretch and a shake. But still he did not talk, nor take heed that Nekoni and Kumba were behind him, but he ran out the doors in pursuit of his friend.  
  
Link heard Japs' footsteps as he ran out after him. The Hylian did not think, but his hand strayed to the hilt of his sword, it's sheath slung on his back by the support of a baldric. Also he stopped, and the wind blew his golden hair past his face to his right. Japs slowed and stopped, and as he began to talk, Link also did.  
  
'What is a friend, Japs?' He asked.  
  
'-What?' Japs asked, taking a step forward. 'Link, it's m--' He stopped. He saw Link's grip on the sword tighten when he moved. Japs had very sharp eyes and ears.  
  
'What is a friend?' Link asked again. His eyes were closed.  
  
'You are.' Said Japs. 'And so is Yoshi and Kirby a--'  
  
'Kirby? How good a friend is he?'  
  
'He...' Japs began. He had to put in a good word for Kirby. For all he knew, Kirby was the only one to know his secret. Memory of the battle was little now. 'He is a good friend.'  
  
'So, I rank below good?'  
  
'What? No, Link! You're my best friend! I can tell you anything!'  
  
Link laughed. Japs saw him raise his blade slowly out of its hilt for about an inch. It shone in the sunlight.  
  
'What have I done?' Japs asked. His eyes were now fixed on the gloved hand of the warrior.  
  
'You l...' Link began, but hastened. 'Forget it.' He said, dropping the sword back in its hilt. He began to walk away. 'I'm just wasting my time with people like you. You never change, Japs. You're just looking after number one, not a thought to those who care-... used to care for you.'  
  
'Link?'  
  
'Goodbye, Japs.' Link said, never looking at the boy. He said this, but his mind was going like clockwork.  
  
  
  
  
  
'You shouldn't hurt him like this, Link.'  
  
'I know I shouldn't. But he deserves it.'  
  
'How, Link? How does he deserve it?'  
  
'He told Kirby above me, his best friend, about Nekoni.'  
  
'Are you sure he told Kirby?'  
  
'Yes! He was more too happy to shout off about it during that battle.'  
  
'He did not know you were watching.'  
  
'That just makes it worse, Zelda!'  
  
'Does it?'  
  
'Yes. He is egotistic! He didn't even mention anything of that subject to me!'  
  
'Kirby didn't get told, Link.'  
  
'Well how, Zelda? How did Kirby find out?'  
  
'Ask Japs.'  
  
'I am not talking to him again!'  
  
'He's crying.'  
  
Link stopped dead in his tracks. He was out of the view of Japs, and vice versa.  
  
'Crying? Japs never cries.'  
  
'He cries every night, Link.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'Think about it. What does he really have to live for? The one he loves hates him; someone who hates him chases him every day. He has nearly the whole school against him. And now he just lost his best friend, the one who kept him going through this.'  
  
'But...'  
  
'His pet robot, The Kanaka. Do you know why and when he built it?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'He built it three years ago, when he was twelve. He had no friends then, and so he built himself one. He made it act just like him, and follow him wherever he went. It's only flaw was it malfunctioned when Japs was programming it to speak.'  
  
'To speak?'  
  
'Yes. Japs was teaching it the word "Kiiu", but it's system crashed and forever froze on "Kii".'  
  
'Kiiu? That's Lylatian!'  
  
'The Lylatian word for death. When ever The Kanaka speaks, it is telling it's master to die.'  
  
'Japs knew Lylatian at twelve?'  
  
'It was his second mother tongue. His junior school was one in the Lylat system. There he was like a freak, being one of the only humans. He was different, and still thinks he is.'  
  
'Zelda, where is Japs?'  
  
'He is hiding.'  
  
'Where? Where is he hiding, Zelda?'  
  
'I don't know if I should tell you. He is egotistic and all.'  
  
'Zelda! I didn't mean what I said about him!'  
  
'And why are you telling me this?'  
  
Link sighed. He had jumped to conclusions. But something stuck in the back of his mind, from a long time ago.  
  
'Do you ever cry, Japs?'  
  
'No. Not unless I am really upset. You know me! Always happy!'  
  
'He cries every night?' Link thought, and he started to look for Japs. 


	12. Open Wounds: The Truth About Kanaka

'He isn't here!' Yoshi cried. 'Link, what have you DONE?'  
  
'I'm sorry.' Said the Hylian, looking down in shame. He, Yoshi and Kirby were looking through Dorm Thirteen for the missing boy. Link's face burnt up. He felt so responsible, so guilty. He was now under a serious weight of stress. His eyes began to shudder as tears formed in the corners of them. 'Where are you?' He thought. 'Where are you, Japs?'  
  
They were missing Sport with Goku, but they did not care. Their friend was more important than a lesson. They had allready missed Lylatian, and Mewtwo had made an excuse for them. Kirby sat down on a chair in deep thought, and doing so he soon found himself rocketing up in pain.  
  
'KANAKA!' Shouted Kirby, looking at what he sat on. 'YOU NUISANCE!'  
  
'Wait!' Said Link, leaping forward. 'Japs programmed Kanaka to be like himself! We could get a clue, at least, from this robot! Kirby, you're good with computers, right?'  
  
'I'm okay.' He said. He turned to the spider bot and, with great caution, reached to touch it. Many people knew how to operate the arachnid.  
  
'Kanaka...' Said Kirby, shaking. '...Offline...' He stared at the Robot's artificial green eyes, and eventually they switched off. Kanaka fell limp. Slowly and cautiously Kirby lifted up the robots abdomen. Inside were circuits and wires, pistons for moving the legs, and one small chip that Kirby took great interest in. 'The Motherboard.' He proclaimed. 'This is the source of Kanaka's mind. Perhaps if we took a look at this on a computer, we could gain vital information.'  
  
  
  
And so the three went to the Computer Resource room, which was in a building not far west from the Year Seven's Block. Link brought Kanaka's flimsy shell with him, and though Yoshi and Kirby saw no point in it, they let him do it.  
  
'If I can just format the chip so that the system can read it, we can translate the entire thing so we can look at the information Japs was programming Kanaka for.' Said Kirby, but when he looked round he saw black, confused expressions aiming at him. With a sigh, he said 'I'm gonna have to play with the insides of the computer.'  
  
After an hour, while Link and Yoshi lay propped against the wall playing 'Go Fish' with playing cards, Kirby was still trying to hook up Kanaka's chip to the computer. Yoshi was grouchy. He had been pulled from going to lessons to sit around doing nothing, and he was normally more than happy to, but doing nothing to find a worthless child as Japs did not seem at all worthy of his time to him. 'Can we go yet?' He whined. And just then, the monitor flashed on. Up came a load of text, and the dinosaur and the Hylian tried to read it, but it was scrolling far too fast for them. Kirby was amazed, looking briefly at each point he saw the effort and skill that had gone into making Kanaka. But then, Yoshi wailed in pain. Kirby's attention turned to the dino, and saw that the Kanaka, still not operational, had clamped around his hand and bitten into it.  
  
Kirby, ignoring this, turned to the monitor. 'Wow.' He said. 'Looks like Japs made this thing smarter than him.'  
  
'Smarter than him...' Said Link, idea's swarming suddenly to his head. '...Or does it know what Japs knew?'  
  
'Pardon?' Said Kirby. The two ignored Yoshi screaming and dancing about the room with a spider's fangs in his paw.  
  
'Does it have any information about Japs' ambitions?' Said Link, looking over Kirby's head. Kirby did a quick scan.  
  
'No.' He replied. Link raised and snapped his fingers.  
  
'I know what Kanaka was for.' He said, but then a tear rolled down his cheek. 'Japs was actualy desperate enough to do that?'  
  
'Do what?' Asked Kirby. Link sat down.  
  
  
  
'I was told that Kanaka was built to be a friend when Japs needed one. It's not quite like that. You see, Kanaka was made to make Japs have friends, in the only way he thought he could.'  
  
'What's that?' Asked Yoshi, tugging at the robot.  
  
'Japs was not like us when he was younger. I'd say he was one of the smartest in his year. He must have been picked on for that same reason, and so he needed a way to get rid of what he knew. He built The Kanaka to take away his intelligence.  
  
'I never looked at it in this way before, but it's so obvious now. Kanaka comes from the Lylat of "Kan", my, and "Nakah", intelligence.' Link began to cry. The more he looked at it, the more he realized how much pain Japs had gone through. 'Think about it, if you had built this machine, would you kick it or throw it away when it came towards you, and hesitate to let it near you? Japs had a reason... Kanaka absorbs information from it's preys brain via it's fangs.'  
  
Yoshi let out a shrill scream.  
  
'Oh, shut up!' Shouted Link. 'Kanaka isn't operational! Has Japs ever shown you his scar, Kirby?'  
  
'No...' Replied Kirby, who was now upset.  
  
'Japs has a huge scar on his left arm. He told me he did it while on a hover-bike.'  
  
Link began to weep. 'It's all lies.' He said through his tears. 'His whole life has been lies. Just... Just like mine...'  
  
Kirby supported the Hylian.  
  
  
  
'Is this true?' Kirby thought. 'It makes sense, in a way. Japs never knew any Lylatian from when I knew him. I pity him. No, no I don't. I wish he were here. I would shout at him so hard for lying... but he couldn't help it, could he? He made himself dumb in order to gain the friendship of others... that's awful!  
  
'But did it work? Am I friends with the Japs he created, or the Japs he was?'  
  
  
  
'We can get the information back into Japs.' Kirby said weakly. 'But would he want it?'  
  
'C'mon.' Said Link, drying his tears. 'Lets look at Kanaka's memory. We have to know where Japs has gone in order to find out.' 


	13. Open Wounds: The Way To Healing

"When I am alone  
  
And none can save me  
  
Then, just maybe  
  
Maybe you can.  
  
  
  
If I am blue  
  
Then, baby  
  
You must save me  
  
Give me your hand.  
  
  
  
When I go  
  
I want you to come  
  
'Cos I never want to be  
  
Without you..."  
  
  
  
Japs sat alone. He was cold, and he was frightened. The day had almost past, and night would soon be upon him. He was singing in the shadow of where he hid, and he was crouched into a ball. He was crying, still. He had wounds now so deep they may never heal, and they were not psychical.  
  
Hearing footsteps, he peered from his hiding place. He was outside, that much was for sure, but none knew where. His heart skipped a beat, for the one he was singing about was now so close to him. A chain, previously unseen, drooped from out of his shirt, and on it was the reddest jewel anyone would have seen. He gathered it up, and then slithered back and watched.  
  
'... And Link said that he's been missing ever since.' Said Kumba, as she and Nekoni walked to the First Year block.  
  
'I don't really care, Kumba.' Nekoni replied. 'Ever since he told m- us that he loved me, you've been talking about him as if he's my boyfriend.'  
  
'I only wish.' Japs whispered, then diving down as the two looked round, as if hearing something.  
  
'Don't be so heartless!' Kumba snapped. 'What if he's gone and done something... awful?'  
  
'Japs?' Nekoni smirked. 'I bet he couldn't work out which end of the knife he is to hold!'  
  
  
  
'That was uncalled for.' Came a voice inside Japs' head. His face angered.  
  
'Ness, I told you, leave me alone!' Japs thought.  
  
'I am not Ness.'  
  
'Mewt--'  
  
'Or Mewtwo.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'Japs, your friends are worried about you.'  
  
'What friends?'  
  
'Kirby, Yoshi, Kumba.' The voice began. 'Link! Nekoni!'  
  
'They don't like me. They detest me.'  
  
'Maybe if you were Japs, they wouldn't.'  
  
'I AM Japs.'  
  
'No. You are something, like a mind that has been tampered with. You are not Japs.'  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
'They know about Kanaka, Japs.'  
  
Japs was silent for a while, but then he jumped from the bushes he was hiding in and darted for the dorms.  
  
'No, not into the common room. Everyone knows you are missing. Go round the back, Japs Gento Kanto Kahn.'  
  
Japs swiftly and silently snuck round the back of the dorm building. As he opened the door, he heard the voice again, but not in his head.  
  
'Here.'  
  
Japs turned to find no one was there, save a bundle before his feet. It was a folded up cloak, black as the night sky that was now upon him. It had a hood, and once he picked it up, he found it covered him almost entirely. So, putting it on, he slipped into the dorms. From the larder, he fled through to the common room, and then upstairs. Students only saw a cloak baring person run by, but Japs heard them talk.  
  
'They say that he went mad.'  
  
'In that case, he would have ran when he was born.'  
  
'I think he's killed himself. Depression, you see.'  
  
'Ironic.' Japs thought. 'Just what I planned to do.'  
  
  
  
He fumbled for the dorm keys in his pocket. He was not thinking straight, and so he dropped them. Bending over to pick them up, he found once more his chain fell from his shirt. He looked at it, and it seemed to talk to him. He treasured it, for it was the only thing he had to remind him of--  
  
He swooped up his keys and opened the door. He had only one thing in mind, and so he was senseless enough not to notice Kumba was watching him from the open door of her dorm, and he had fled to find Link.  
  
It was only a matter of time before the dorm inhabitants had come to find out if it was Japs or not. But Link had scared them.  
  
'He could be dead. He could have killed himself.'  
  
'Maybe.' Said Kirby. He had been sensitive to the subject of Japs more than anyone could guess. The thought of someone mentally changing themselves in a desperate state like Japs upset him like nothing else.  
  
'Open it.' Said Yoshi. 'We have to find out if he has returned or not.'  
  
Link hesitated, but eventually opened the door.  
  
  
  
Japs was there. There was a brief moment of relief. But around him they saw destruction. He had been searching for something, and he had found it.  
  
He was kneeling on the floor, crying. In his open palms lay the limp body of Kanaka. The boy looked up, and he saw Link. He stopped his snivels and waited for something. Link knew what, and he smiled. Japs cried again, and, dropping Kanaka, ran to Link's arms.  
  
'I'm sorry.' Japs whimpered. Link, as any good friend would, let the boy embrace him. After being missing for almost twelve hours, Japs was back. He was shaking, and he seemed stirred. Link turned to Kirby and Yoshi, and Japs let go. All of them smiled at him now, and Japs weakly smiled back. Now he cried with happiness. He had returned to friends, not enemies. His greatest fear passed. 


	14. Open Wounds: Fatal Blow

Yoshi remained quiet for some time. Japs had sat down, and after a hot drink he and Link began talking. Kirby had gone off to tell Mrs. Tardid that Japs was back, safe and sound, after they reported him missing. Yoshi felt much like Kirby at this time. He could not decide which Japs he liked, the one that is or the one that was. He had only really been a friend with the Japs that Japs created, but was the real Japs anything different?  
  
'Yoshi?' Link asked. He and Japs were sitting on the couch. 'You okay?'  
  
'No.' Replied Yoshi. 'I mean yes. I mean... I don't know, Link. I'm just... confused.'  
  
Japs looked at the shell of his spider. He could fix it, but he was not sure if he wanted to. Whilst Kanaka was functional, it was like it had possessed Japs, so he could never switch it off. Now it was offline, but Japs felt empty. 'Is it my heart, or is it my head?' He thought. 'Have I grown to miss Kanaka, or do I want my brain back?'  
  
Link picked up Japs' empty cocoa cup. 'You want more?' He asked. Japs shook his head, and then hummed as he continued to think.  
  
'I have forgotten many things. Things from the past I wanted to forget, and most likely things of the past I didn't. I brought this on myself; I brought all this pain to everyone around me. Gah! What's the point? I'm just an empty shell now, like Kanaka! I have no real emotions, why would I care?  
  
'But... yet I feel pain. And I feel happiness, and love. Am I truly without emotions? No, I can't be. I have cried, I have laughed, and I have loved. I must have emotions. So, the only thing Kanaka has really taken away from me is my... my ability to show my emotions! I cry, but I never tell. I laugh, but I never joke. I love, but I cannot be loved! This has got to be the answer!  
  
'The answer to what? I have a soul, and I have a heart. And both are caressed with the thought of Nekoni. If I regain my intelligence, do I lose my love for her?'  
  
'What is love?' Japs asked suddenly. Link and Yoshi looked at him.  
  
'Love...' Said Link. 'Well...'  
  
'Love is the feeling when you care about someone very much.' Said Yoshi.  
  
'But... does that mean I love you guys?'  
  
'Kinda.' Said Link. 'But love is for those you have a passion for. We are friends.'  
  
'I love Nekoni.' Said Japs. He wasn't thinking before he spoke, because he was saying his thoughts. 'But who does she love?'  
  
'Who does she love?' Japs thought. 'I hope it's me.'  
  
  
  
Japs spent another hour thinking. He would sometimes mutter things, and Link only caught some, like 'Friends', 'Truth' and 'Care'. Kirby had come back, and he spoke to Link only out of earshot of Japs. Soon, Japs had begun talking again, but in a strange way. In-between sentences he would weave a question. But then he stood up.  
  
'I want to be Japs.' He said. The three looked at him in mild shock.  
  
'Are you sure?' Asked Kirby. Japs nodded.  
  
Kirby brought the motherboard of Kanaka. He then attached Kanaka to Japs, who did nothing more but whine a little in pain. Kanaka's motherboard was replaced, and then Kirby opened the tiny headpiece. He switched some wires and then stood back, nodding to Japs who nodded back. Link and Yoshi stood back. Japs closed his eyes and paused, but then his face became stern and he reassured himself. Blood dripped from Kanaka's fangs. It rolled down Japs' pail arm.  
  
'Kanaka.' Began Japs, and he clenched his eyelids shut. 'Activate.'  
  
There was a blinding flash. Japs could see nothing. He could feel a sharp pain in the back. He could smell a new, uncomfortable smell, the smell of boiled blood. He could hear voices, but he was unsure if he recognized them. He could say nothing, his body stiff and painful. He then blacked out.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Well, this is the last in the Open Wounds series! Next season, we're getting deep into the school term and the FireBall season begins, but- and there allways is a but- what about Japs?  
  
Think about it!  
  
Peace!  
  
-Japs- 


	15. Third Season Teaser

Black screen. Image of a closed eye appears, then fades.  
  
Mewtwo voiceover: "It all depends on how much the boy has forgotten."  
  
Mewtwo appears on screen.  
  
Mewtwo: "He could know things far too great."  
  
Image changes to Link.  
  
Link: "We have to ask ourselves..."  
  
Image fades back to black.  
  
Link Voiceover: "Did he actualy build the robot?"  
  
Sudden image of Marth and Roy, backing away from something, looking scared. Music starts.  
  
Image changes to Kirby, shouting in pain.  
  
Changes to Mewtwo again.  
  
Mewtwo: "I fear of what we have started... giving back his memory..."  
  
Link and Ness stand back to back, each bearing their weapons. An army of Redeads surrounds them.  
  
Change to the forest. A team of FireBall players dart by, followed by fire projectiles and an advancing forest fire.  
  
Male Voiceover: "A month has gone by..."  
  
Image of Sheik fending off egg-shaped projectiles.  
  
Male Voiceover: "And new discoveries are made..."  
  
Image of McDan and his cronies huddled in a dark corner. A shadow casts over them.  
  
Male Voiceover: "Which can endanger the whole of Dark Galaxy..."  
  
Music stops. Image of someone in DGH FireBall suit from behind. Changes to helmet view. Glasses are seen from inside. The eyes of this human are closed. They open, and music starts.  
  
Image of Dark Galaxy High. Storm Clouds swiftly pass over it. Fades into an image of a landing space shuttle.  
  
Change to image of Ness, Link, Kirby, Yoshi and Samus. All are yelling and run towards the screen.  
  
Black screen.  
  
Male Voiceover: "Things will never be the same again.  
  
Ness appears.  
  
Ness: "So much for education."  
  
Black screen. The words "Dark Galaxy High: Season Three" appear in flames. Fade to white text: "Coming Soon" 


	16. Season Three: Freedom

I am dead.  
  
It feels like I have been dead for weeks. I can still see, but only white. I can still hear, but I guess my funeral was a while back because the once- clear sounds of voices have turned into mumblings.  
  
Am I dead?  
  
I can still feel. Yes, I can feel sharp objects hooked to my veins. There are some on my stomach, some on my chest, some on my legs and one on my head. I can't move, I'm immobilized, but I can still feel.  
  
I can't be dead.  
  
Every so often I hear Link beside me. He would try to tell me about school life, but I could never hear him that well. He would play his Ocarina for me. Maybe, some day, I will play one too.  
  
I'm not dead.  
  
I can sleep, and I can wake. It might just be lapsing in and out of consciousness, but I am not dead. I would dearly love to yawn now.  
  
  
  
And so he did. He sat up in his bed and stretched his, what he thought were, two arms out beside them. He then slowly opened his eyes. He was in a hospital. He looked at the clock on the wall beside him. It was three twenty-two in the afternoon. Through a window to his right, the sun shone. And from his window, he could see the school. Turning around now, he saw a button marked "Call Nurse". He smiled to himself and pressed it, and an intercom opened.  
  
"Is there a problem?" Came a female voice.  
  
'Yes.' He said weakly. 'I'm feeling rather thirsty now. Could I get a glass of water, ma'am?'  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
'This is Japs Gento Kanto Kahn.'  
  
The intercom suddenly switched off. Japs thought this was very rude, but instantly he heard running footsteps. They stopped suddenly, and murmurs were heard. Then the footsteps began again, there were more of them. And he saw shadows run past the closed-blinds on his interior window. The door swung open, hitting the wall with a large crash. In walked in some figures.  
  
Three nurses had entered, and behind them Mewtwo. Last, but not least, was the Hylian Link, who darted to his friend's side, shouting his name in glee.  
  
'Japs! You're alive! Mewtwo, he's alive! I thought you were a goner!'  
  
Japs saw Link was overwhelmed with joy, but Japs was also drowsy. 'Hi.' He croaked. 'How are you?'  
  
Mewtwo crouched to Link's side.  
  
'Japs, I'm glad you're awake.' Mewtwo said. He then laughed. 'I guess my punishments are too tough, right?'  
  
Japs laughed too, but it was a gasping laugh. 'I guess so.' He said. 'What happened to me?'  
  
'Ah.' Said Mewtwo. 'Link may be able to explain better.'  
  
Link looked down in shame. 'I blame myself. Kanaka was hooked up to your right arm. We tried to reboot him to get your brain back together. We just miscalculated how much power Kanaka had left in him...'  
  
  
  
Japs screamed in pain. It was not a short scream, but a long one. Tears fled quickly from his eyes, and they burnt his face. His whole body began to deform, his skeleton showing through his skin occasionally as bright blue. His veins swelling where Kanaka was latched. Japs' eyes rolled to the back of his skull, and he collapsed. Kanaka had burnt up, and now was scorched black.  
  
  
  
'...We got you here as soon as we could, but you didn't wake up until... well, until now!'  
  
'When is now?' Japs asked. A headache became apparent to him, and he rubbed his forehead.  
  
'It is exactly one month since the accident.' Said Link.  
  
'A month?' Japs cried, springing up in his bed. 'I'm behind in my studies!'  
  
'Japs.' Said Mewtwo calmly. 'What is your middle name?'  
  
'What? Oh... it's Freedom. Japs Freedom Gento Kanto Kahn.'  
  
'As if just Gento Kanto Kahn wasn't long enough?' Link muttered. Mewtwo motioned him to hush.  
  
'Japs, I hope you realize when you joined this school last month, you were unaware you had a middle name, yet somehow Kanaka had "Japs F. G. K. K." programmed into him.' Said Mewtwo. Japs was shocked.  
  
'But, I have something else to tell you, Japs.' Mewtwo continued grimly. 'You may not like it, but we had to operate in order to keep the shards of metal from infecting your body.'  
  
'What do you mean?' Japs asked. Mewtwo looked down.  
  
'Your right arm., Japs.' Said Link. 'Look at your right arm.'  
  
Japs expected to see, at worse, Kanaka still attached to his arm. But the fang marks weren't even there anymore. Neither was skin, flesh, or bone. Japs' right arm was now completely robotic. The boy gasped, and he began to weep slightly, but he turned it into a smile.  
  
'I always wanted to be part robot.' He sighed. 'Ever since I was six.'  
  
Mewtwo seemed happier now. 'There will be a flesh-like substance to be molded over your fingers to make a replica of your old hand, but I'm afraid we don't have the resources to make you an entire new arm. I guess you'll have to keep your shirt over it.'  
  
Japs picked up a plastic cup from beside his desk with his new hand, and he twisted it round. He then tightened his grip slightly, and the cup shattered.  
  
'There are strength settings by the shoulder.' Said Mewtwo. 'I figured you may need it for your next Smash Tournament.'  
  
Japs lowered the setting. He yawned heavily. 'Even though I've technically just woken up, I feel like I've been awake for hours.'  
  
'Sleep.' Said Link. 'I'll tell the others the good news.'  
  
'Tell Nekoni.' Japs assured, drifting into sleep. 'Tell her especially... That I was asking for her...'  
  
'I will.' Said Link, and Mewtwo led him out of the room. 


	17. Season Three: Of Recovery And Slobs Alik...

----------------------------  
  
System: Light Galaxy  
  
Time: 20:34 hours  
  
----------------------------  
  
"Have you got a reading yet?"  
  
"No. Something's wrong."  
  
"Gnash! Send down a scout. Check on the Kanaka."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"That unit better not be destroyed, otherwise there will be hell to pay..."  
  
----------------------------  
  
Japs was slowly remembering. Some memories he did not enjoy, like where he would be kicked in the head if he bent down at his old school. Some he liked, though. One he really liked was were he first met Nekoni. It was back in kindergarten, where the two were only young and did not know what from what. The two had played together with a ball, and then Nekoni had to go home. Before she did, though, she kissed little Japs on the cheek, and waved frantically goodbye.  
  
Japs sighed. He was still in his hospital bed, but Mewtwo told him there was every chance he could go back to lessons soon. There was a reason he was still in bed, and that was because sometimes he would find himself screaming at memories returning, for they seemed to be happening in real time. At the moment, Japs was fine, and no memories were coming back to him. This meant information was. Link was sitting with him, like he did for an hour every day.  
  
'What was the sigh for?' Link asked. Japs turned to him.  
  
'I just realy like Nekoni.' He said. 'I wish she felt the same way.'  
  
'I would argue...' Said Link, 'But I've not exactly been unlucky with girls...'  
  
Japs looked at his new arm. 'I wish I wasn't. I guess I could never really pull now. I'm just about ready to say "I'll be back" and dipped into molten lava.'  
  
  
  
Kirby and Yoshi sat alone in the Dorm. They had nothing to do, and so they pulled out the biggest bag of Ready Salted Chips and sat dipping them into cold baked beans while watching their low-quality dorm TV.  
  
There was a knock on the door. After a minute of arguing, Yoshi was eventually forced to answer it. Kumba, Nekoni and Samus were outside.  
  
'Wha?' Asked Yoshi lazily, perfectly timing the scratching of his dino- hind.  
  
'Is there any news on Japs?' Nekoni blurted out first.  
  
'He could be released today!' Kirby shouted. 'He should be in longer, the nut-case.'  
  
'Jeez, you live like slobs...' Kumba hissed, looking disgusted at the dorm.  
  
'Well, we got lonely!' Yoshi barked back. He was about to shut the door when Kumba invited herself in.  
  
'Yep. Definitely needs a woman's touch in here.'  
  
'What's that smell?' Asked Samus. All eyes turned to Kirby, who departed to his room quickly.  
  
'What are you doing?' Whined Yoshi, as the company of girls welcomed themselves. 'Why are you all here?'  
  
'I think we better clean this place up before Tardid takes a mental.' Said Nekoni. Spotting something, she picked up a pencil and lifted it up. 'Whose... ick... underwear is this?'  
  
'Japs.' Said Yoshi. 'We figured he'd want things where he left them.'  
  
'HE'S BEEN GONE FOR A MONTH AND YOU LEFT HIS UNDERWEAR ROTTING ON THE FLOOR?'  
  
'Not rotting. I'd say more moulding.'  
  
'You guys disgust me.' Said Samus, kicking away a rock-solid pizza slice. 'I bet you ten gold pieces each, we can clean this place up before Japs gets back.'  
  
Kirby was not there to hear this, so it was only the high brain of Yoshi to haggle the deal. The whole thing was a fix, because girls, as you should know, can do more than one thing at once better than boys. So Yoshi's brain did the math to see whether the deal was worth it.  
  
"MATH!? I HATE MATH!"  
  
'Ok then, Samus. It's a deal!'  
  
  
  
'You mean it?' Japs called in glee.  
  
'Yes.' Said Mewtwo, hugging his clipboard to his chest. 'You can return to lessons as soon as you feel able.'  
  
'So, I could walk out of that door right now, and everything will be the way it was like when I left?'  
  
Mewtwo turned to Link with a look on his face. 'Not quite.' He said, conspiringly. 'Why don't you give him the tour, Linkey boy?'  
  
'Sure.' Grinned Link. 'Ready to go back to school, Japs?'  
  
'Yes.' Said Japs. The camera got a shot of his face. 'You're right Sam. We did what Gandalf said we had to do. I am ready to go home.'  
  
Link blanked him, but came to the assessment that he may still be feeling slightly ill from his episode, and so he moved on.  
  
'I'm sure you'll like what you see next.' Said Link, throwing open the Sport Hall doors. Japs looked amazed.  
  
'They... They're Fourth Years... And... They're playing...'  
  
'Super Smash Tournament.' Link smugly completed. Japs stepped forward.  
  
'DAN!' Shouted a Goron. 'PASS IT HERE, GORO!'  
  
The Goron's teammate threw over a weapon, a Bob-Bomb. Quickly grasping it, the Goron let his opponent catch it next.  
  
'RED WINS!' Shouted a familiar voice.  
  
'Mewtwo?' Japs cried. 'I thought Goku taught Sport Lessons.'  
  
'We had... a career change...' Mewtwo snickered.  
  
'OK, class. Who can give me one example of gravity?'  
  
'Uh... Like, when stuff can't float.'  
  
'What?' Goku asked, scratching his head. 'That's not true.'  
  
Thus, the Saiyan floated in mid air. The class gasped.  
  
'Well...' The teen continued, 'No-one can make... Say... A, like, disk float in the air.'  
  
The student was referring to a CD. Goku smiled.  
  
'I know someone who can.' He said happily. 'Hey, Krillin! Get in here!'  
  
The janitor walked in.  
  
'H'jeah, Goku?'  
  
'Show them that Distructo Disk...' 


	18. Season Three: Welcome Home, Japs?

'Smash Tournament is a sport.' Japs sighed. He watched as a new team of combaters came onto the field. These two seemed to be twins, wearing similar clothes, but of different sex.  
  
'Otisho and Hikoro.' They announced. The first team, of Goron and Hylian smiled.  
  
'Danshee and Attobi.' They replied. Suddenly, Attobi the Goron looked up to Japs.  
  
'Heh. Whatcha looking at, goro?' He called. Danshee looked up too.  
  
'Looks like a freshmen twerp wants to battle.' Danshee laughed. Mewtwo stopped the two by blocking their view of him.  
  
'That, my friends, is the "twerp" who created Smash Tournament.' He said. The two Hyrule Battle-Going students felt quite ill.  
  
'You're Japs Gento Kanto?' Asked Hikoro from the other side of the room. She walked up to the boy and moved his chin up with her finger. 'You're kinda cute!'  
  
Japs blushed. 'E-Excuse me.' He said, making for the door and a laughing Link. 'I have to say hi to my dorm-mates.'  
  
As Japs jogged out, the sounds of battle grew. Link had a huge grin on his face for the remainder of their journy to their dorm. But not all were happy for the return of Japs.  
  
  
  
'YOO! So ye came oot of tha' Hospital at last. S'good enouf. I need something to punch, now all the wee ones have fealt mah wrath.'  
  
McDan, Shorty and Tank were blocking the corridor. Link began to draw his sword, but Japs stopped him, tapping a metallic arm, hidden from view. Now he had his rubber hand cast on it, which looked very much like his old one, all he did was stuff the sleeve so it fleshed out and no-one knew the better. Japs slowly walked towards McDan, pretending to rub his shoulder.  
  
'Pop Quiz, Mr. Dandruff McDan.' Japs said smugly, walking up to the beast. 'Do you know anything about what I've been going through?'  
  
'Nah.' Growled McDan. 'But ahh know what'll soon be going throo yoo.' He rubbed his fist suggestively.  
  
'Okay then.' Said Japs, flexing his fingers. 'By any chance do you know The Roundabout Rule?'  
  
'Wha?' McDan asked, confused.  
  
'Give way,' Japs began, before his voice rose. 'TO THE RIGHT!'  
  
And as he shouted this, he sent a right hook to McDan. If there was any sympathy from anyone about Shorty, it would have been "Poor Shorty", as McDan quite nicely toppled onto him. And Tank was too thick to even try to do anything, but pull at his lower lip in thought. Link and Japs quickly made their departure into their dorm.  
  
'Now, for once here's something that I'll remember.' Said Japs. Link had gone first into the dorm, but froze in shock. Japs looked over his shoulder, and then wished he hadn't.  
  
'This is not our dorm.' Japs whimpered, his eyes small.  
  
'I swear, I left this morning and it was fine...' Link replied. Samus, Kumba and Nekoni stood with content smiles as Yoshi handed over Ten Gold. The dorm had now changed completely.  
  
  
  
It was tidy, and clean, and sparkly.  
  
  
  
'YOU PAID THEM FOR THIS?' Link cried.  
  
'It was a bet.' Said Yoshi mournfully. Link looked round to Japs.  
  
'W-Welcome... home?' 


	19. Season Three: A Change Of Heart?

Notes from the author:  
  
Sorry I have not updated Dark Galaxy High for a while, but I was busy with my exams. But now, since I've finished, here is the newest chapter for your enjoyment! And, it's possible there may be a Dark Galaxy Website soon.  
  
  
  
Something was playing on Kirby's mind. From what Link had told him, Japs was rehabilitating quickly and without any sign of perpetual damage, but from a condition that could have killed him.  
  
Kirby summed it up as this: Japs had been electrocuted by a powerful source and lapsed out of consciousness for an entire thirty one days, and somehow had managed to wake up unscarred, minus the right arm, and better than ever.  
  
Which ever way he looked at it, there seemed to be only one way to find out the truth: The Remains of Kanaka.  
  
This put a new dilemma on him. The remains of Kanaka had been lost. He had not been totally sure where they had gone to, but they had gone all the same. When he returned that night after Japs had been taken to hospital, the scorched shell of Kanaka was no longer in the dorm.  
  
Kirby had not heard the commotion from outside. He had left when Samus pointed out a queer smell. Now he had finished cleaning the toilet, Kirby walked out from the dorm corridor and into the main lounge. Un-noticing the unmemorable cleanness of the place, for he cared not, his eyes settled on the weary, but happy, form of Japs.  
  
'Look who's back.' Joked Kirby. His eyes switched to Nekoni. 'Happy days, aren't they?'  
  
Nekoni violently raised a balled fist in protest to Kirby's mockery, and so he turned his attention to a different matter, though rather clumsily.  
  
'Can I see the arm?'  
  
Japs suddenly went bright red. It was not the first thing he had wanted to talk about on his return, but now the cat was out of the bag. Turning to everyone in the room, he could see they were eager to know what Kirby had meant. He let out a long sigh.  
  
'This is not to leave this room.' He said glumly. Link looked down in a mix of shame and depression: He knew Japs was ashamed of his new accessory.  
  
Japs rolled up his jacket sleeve and reviled his robotic arm to the room. His eyes closed, unsure of what the reaction, but the one he got was certainly not the one he was bracing for.  
  
Samus knew partly what Japs was going through, as she often had to depend on her suit. Yoshi had said it was cool, and made a reference to the same Action Movie Japs had done before. Kumba pointed out where the flesh ended looked like it had stitches in, which Japs said was correct. Kirby was looking at how the arm was constructed and maintained. Link remained silent, for he knew enough already, and as he stood there watching the crowd surround Japs, he noticed one stood alone opposite him.  
  
'Nekoni? You haven't said anything to Japs yet.'  
  
'Why would I want to?' She replied.  
  
'Well, seen as you were the first thing he asked about once he came back to his senses, I don't see why not.'  
  
'What?' Nekoni asked. Link blushed suddenly  
  
'I knew I forgot something.' He said, scratching the back of his head.  
  
The question everyone had asked themselves came back to their. Had they been friends with the Japs who was or the Japs he created? Their memories were reminded of Japs' knowledge being returned to him, and they were all dying to ask. There was an uncomfortable silence, and Japs did not really know why. Kirby pulled Yoshi to whisper.  
  
'I know a way we can find out if he's the old Japs or… the older Japs.' Said Kirby.  
  
'Go on then!' Said Yoshi. Kirby then went into Japs room. A few moments passed, and Kirby came out with a jar full of gold.  
  
'This is five weeks allowance, Japs.' He said. 'It all piled up while you were away!'  
  
'There… There's… tons!' Japs shouted. He picked the jar up, and everyone watched as he had his arm implant naked. 'There'll be… eighty gold in here!'  
  
'Maths…' Said Yoshi. 'He's changed.'  
  
'Wait.' Said Kirby. 'It all depends on how he spends the money. If he wastes it to go on TV, he's the normal Japs. If he spends it on books, he's changed.'  
  
Japs looked up for him newfound fortune with a huge smile on his face. 'Come on!' He said in happiness. 'I'll buy you all a huge dinner!'  
  
This was agreed to be a good idea, and everyone head out. Yoshi and Kirby lagged behind, talking.  
  
'So? What do we call that?' Yoshi asked.  
  
'A free lunch!' Kirby replied. 


End file.
